Often times arguments happen because of bad communication. We misjudge others and their intentions simply because we don’t communicate well.
And that’s what seems to have happened here in Joshua 22.
The tribes of Reuben, Gad, and Manasseh, with Joshua’s blessing, were told that it was okay to go back to their settlements across the Jordan now that the Israelites had come into their inheritance.
But before doing so, the three tribes built an altar.
The other Israelites got really upset about this because God had specifically commanded that when they reached the promised land, they could no longer build altars just anywhere, but only in the place where God directed them to.
And so they went to confront their brothers, ready to make war against them if necessary.
But the three tribes reassured the rest of the Israelites that they were not intending to use the altar for sacrifices. Rather, it was a sign to them and their descendants that they all belonged to the same God. And so a war was averted.
I think there are a couple of things we can learn from this.
First, communication is vital in order to avoid misunderstandings.
It would’ve been so much better if when the three tribes were leaving, they had asked the elders of Israel to come with them, and they built the altar in front of them while explaining why they were doing so.
Instead, they built the altar with no explanations, leaving the rest of the Israelites to assume the worst.
I don’t know why the three tribes didn’t do this. Maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing. They didn’t think of it until they got to the Jordan.
Or maybe they just thought the rest of the Israelites would understand.
But whatever the reason, there was a failure to communicate.
One thing I’ve always told my wife is that I can’t read her mind. And that if she wants me to understand her and her needs, she needs to communicate them.
Of course, on the flip side, that means that I actually need to listen to and remember what she says so that I can “read her mind” more effectively in the future. And I’ve tried to do that.
We can’t just assume, though, that people will understand us and why we do things. If we want people to understand us, we need to communicate, and that’s what the three tribes learned.
The second thing to learn from this story is to deal with problems directly and swiftly.
When the three tribes built the altar, the other ten tribes leaped to the wrong conclusion and got very upset as a result.
But one thing they did do right was to confront their brothers about it directly. And because they did that, the miscommunication was resolved quickly.
How often, however, do we avoid confrontation, however, and just stew in our anger. Doing so solves nothing. If we’ve been hurt, or if we feel someone has wronged us, then we need to confront them about it.
By doing so, we can make right judgments about matters, and be reconciled with that person. Or at least we have a much better chance to do so.
Ignoring the problem, on the other hand, just leaves the relationship to fester, and that’s not what God would have us do.
How are your relationships? Are you making right judgments? Or are you making judgments on incomplete information?
Are you communicating? Or are you just stewing in your anger?
What would God have you do today?
Moment to Moment (Bible blog) 