I’m stubborn. I admit it. And there are times in the course of an argument when I’ll think, “This is stupid. Why am I arguing about this?” and yet I’ll continue to hold my position.
But there are times when it simply isn’t worth it to keep fighting, and to just let it go.
Asahel was David’s nephew and one of his best soldiers. Unfortunately, he didn’t know when to stop fighting.
He was chasing after Abner, the general of Ishbosheth’s (the son of Saul) army, and would not break off pursuit.
Perhaps he was thinking, “This is my chance to be the hero. If I kill Abner, David will surely become king.
When Abner saw Asahel chasing him, twice he warned Asahel to turn aside, but Asahel refused to do so.
Finally, Abner turned and killed Asahel.
Later, Abner was able to regroup his men, and shouted down at Joab, Asahel’s brother,
Must the sword devour forever? Don’t you realize that this will end in bitterness?
How long before you order your men to stop pursuing their brothers? (2 Samuel 2:26)
But unlike his brother, Joab knew when to stop fighting. He answered,
As surely as God lives, if you had not spoken, the men would have continued the pursuit of their brothers until morning. (27)
He then blew his trumpet, stopping his men’s pursuit, and everyone went to their homes.
Sometimes we get involved in arguments or fights, and as we’re doing so, we start to realize that no good is coming out of it. That all that’s happening is people are getting angry or hurt.
What do you do in that situation? Do you keep fighting? Or do you back off.
Now, there are times we have to make a stand and not back down.
But there are also times, we need to just agree to disagree and let go of the argument. And in some cases, it means giving in to the other person, even when you disagree.
How can you tell when to make a stand and when to back down?
I suppose the big question to ask is which will do more harm. Would the only harm to backing down be to your pride? If that’s the case, then it’s probably better to back down.
If, on the other hand, there is a real harm possible to you or the other person if you back down, then it’s better to make a stand.
In either case, it’s often a good idea to just take a step back from the argument and cool down.
When you do that, it allows you to get away from the heat of the moment so that you can judge the situation more rationally.
Do you know when to stop fighting?
Moment to Moment (Bible blog) 