Failing as a father

Sin often has unintended consequences.  And I think you see this in chapter 13 of 2 Samuel.

David sinned with Bathsheba, committing adultery, and then murdering her husband. 

Would he still have done it, knowing what would happen to his family afterward?

There is an old saying, “Like father, like son.” 

In other words, children often follow the example of their father.  And that’s exactly what David’s oldest son Amnon did. 

Like his father, he lusted after a woman.  And like his father, he took her in a way that was shameful, and disgraceful.  In short, he raped his own half-sister, Tamar.

David failed Amnon in that he was a terrible example for his son on how to deal with his sexual desires.  But he also failed in that when he found out what his son had done, he did…nothing.

In verse 21, it says that when David heard of what Amnon did, he was furious.  But the silence concerning what he did about it is deafening.

What was the result?  It planted seeds of resentment and anger in Absalom, who was Tamar’s full-brother. 

Not only was Absalom angry and resentful toward his brother, you see that he felt the same way toward his own father. Eventually, he would lead a rebellion against David that nearly cost David his life.

And because David did nothing when he found out about the rape of Tamar, Absalom took things in his own hands, and murdered Amnon.

Why didn’t David do anything?  It’s hard to say.  Perhaps it was because Amnon was his first-born.

But if I were to guess, it was because he felt morally compromised because of the incident with Bathsheba. 

Perhaps he felt, “How can I punish Amnon for doing something I myself am guilty of, sexual immorality?”

But in doing nothing, he failed as a father.

As parents, we have a big responsibility, given by God, to raise our children. 

I’ve got to be honest.  I don’t feel qualified.  Often times, I struggle with what’s the right way to raise my daughter. 

But I have a responsibility to her to be a godly example to her, to teach her what is right, and to discipline her even when it’s unpleasant to do so. 

I pray that I would be the parent God calls me to be.

How about you?  What kind of parent are you? 

Are you a good example to your kids?  Are you disciplining them when needed?  Are you teaching them to do what’s right? 

If we fail to do these things, we fail our children.  And we fail in the responsibility that God himself has given us.