When friends mourn

In the book of Job, we see three of his friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar.  When they heard about Job’s troubles, they decided together to go and visit him.  And when they saw the state he was in, it says,

They began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads.  Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights.

No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.  (Job 2:12-13)

Although there are a lot of negative things we can say about his friends throughout the book of Job, one thing we can say is that they truly cared about him.

And in the first few days they were with him, they did the best thing they could.  They shut up and just stayed with him.

When they got in trouble was when they started opening their mouths and started spouting off their “wisdom” to him.

I think there’s something to be said about that.  When our friends are mourning because of the troubles they are going through, most times, they don’t need our words of advice.  They don’t need our “wisdom.”  More than anything else, they just need us to be there and to listen.

Sometimes they will say stupid things in their pain and anguish.  Sometimes they may even question God and his wisdom.

But for the most part, they don’t need us to condemn them or criticize them for voicing their pain.  They just need us to be there to understand them and to sympathize with them.

And if we’ll just do that, showing God’s love to them by just being there and understanding them, they’ll usually come around, and recognize God’s presence and love through us.

Paul puts it this way,

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.  (Romans 12:15)

So when people around us are struggling through loss and pain, let us use our mouths much less, and use our ears and arms of comfort much more.