We live in a culture where purity is hard to come by. How many husbands and wives come into their marriages sexually pure?
Everything in our culture seems to fight against it.
TV dramas constantly depict sex before marriage, and outside of it. Movies do the same. The internet is full of it, and makes porn even more easily accessible than ever.
More than that, everyone seems to just think it’s natural to sleep with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Or to move in with them before they get married.
But that’s not what God intended when he created sex. He created it as something good and to be enjoyed, but only within the confines of marriage.
Within marriage, it’s a beautiful thing that helps bind a couple together, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well.
But taken outside of marriage, sex often leads to heartache and pain.
Here in this passage, we see a passionate woman who nonetheless saw the need for purity. As you look at her words, you see her strong desire for her lover.
We see them on their wedding night here, lying together in intimate embrace. (Song of Solomon 2:3–7)
She compares her husband to an apple tree, and you can see the security that she feels in their relationship.
She says his embrace is like sitting in the shade protected from the hot sun, and all the while, she tastes of his “fruits.” She then asks him for even more, saying,
Strengthen me with raisins,
refresh me with apples,
for I am faint with love. (Song of Solomon 2:5)
But then she issues a warning to the single women of Jerusalem, and to us all.
Daughters of Jerusalem,
I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. (2:7)
In other words, love and sex are powerful things. And to arouse these passions before you’re ready is a dangerous thing. What does it mean to be ready?
To be ready emotionally and mentally.
To be mature enough to be able to make a commitment that lasts a lifetime.
To understand what that kind of commitment truly means. That it’s not simply the feelings of the moment but goes far beyond it.
So many people don’t understand this, and that’s why the divorce rate is so high.
It’s why so many sexual relationships break up even before marriage is reached, leaving many brokenhearted.
The woman then recalls her own courtship. How her lover appeared and asked her out on a date.
You see his passion and longing for her in his words. (2:10–14)
But even he was aware of the traps that could destroy a relationship, saying,
Catch for us the foxes,
the little foxes that ruin the vineyards,
our vineyards that are in bloom. (2:15)
The vineyards in this case are their love relationship. And there are so many foxes that can ruin a vineyard.
In other words, there are many things that can destroy a relationship, including getting too intimate too soon.
So even in the midst of their strong passions, she tells him,
Until the day breaks and the shadows flee,
turn, my lover, and be like a gazelle
or like a young stag on the rugged hills. (2:17)
In other words, now is not the time to spend the night together. Leave now, and I will see you tomorrow.
Even so, in her dreams, she longs for him (3:1–4), and she dreams of searching for him, and of her joy in finding him.
But once again she warns us,
Daughters of Jerusalem,
I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. (3:5)
Sex is beautiful. It was meant to be so. And by enjoying it as God intended it has tremendous power for good in a relationship.
But by taking it outside of what God intended, it has power that’s equally destructive, to your relationships and to you.
How about you? Are you keeping yourself pure?
Moment to Moment (Bible blog) 