Conscious of our sin

I’ve probably seen (and sung) Psalm 51 hundreds of times.

Today, verse 3 strikes me. David writes,

For I am conscious of my rebellion, and my sin is always before me. There are two kinds of problems Christians face when it comes to sin. (Psalm 51:3)

One is a complete lack of consciousness of their sin.

The other is an overwhelming sense of sin and guilt despite the fact that God has already forgiven them.

After David’s sin was exposed, he was overwhelmed by guilt.

No doubt the fact that his child born of adultery was dying kept his sin ever before him. This despite the fact that Nathan had proclaimed God’s forgiveness to David. (2 Samuel 12:13)

God will forgive, but that does not mean he will take away all earthly consequences for our sin.

Perhaps one reason is to remind us just how awful it is. And it is a reminder to us that though we may be suffering the consequences of our sin, the price Jesus paid for us was much more costly.

So if your sin is ever before you because of the consequences you face, look to the cross. Remember what it means.

You may be paying a price for your sin. And it may be painful.

But Christ paid the ultimate price for your sin. And because of it, your debt is paid in full. Because of Jesus, your sin is blotted out.

Cling to that truth. You are forgiven.

But perhaps a worse problem Christians face is not feeling guilt at all for their sin.

For a long time, David felt no real guilt when it came to his sin with Bathsheba.

I’m not saying that he was not aware of it at all. If that were the case, he would have brazenly told Uriah to his face what he had done.

And there would have been no subterfuge in first trying to hide the fact from Uriah and then murdering him. He would have done it for all to see. (Think of Herod the Great or Herod Antipas for example).

No, David knew better. And yet he was not even close to repenting.

It’s hard to say what he was thinking, frankly. What kind of excuses was he making for his sin to shove down the guilt he was feeling.

And so the question for me is, how lightly do I take my sins? Am I even conscious of them? What excuses do I make for them?

Lord, let me become more conscious of my sins. Help me to see them as clearly as David saw his. And let those sins drive me to your cross. To weep at the incredible love for me that nailed you there.

Day by day cleanse me. Create a clean heart for me, and renew a steadfast spirit in me, a spirit that revels in your grace and sings of it, so that those around me may find that grace for themselves.