Never good enough?

How Paul saw himself is really interesting to me.

We often hear how important it is to have a healthy self-esteem.

But think about how Paul saw himself.

In I Corinthians 15:9, he called himself “the least of all the apostles.”

In verse 8 of today’s passage, he goes beyond that, calling him the “least of all  the saints” (that is, the least of all God’s people).

In 1 Timothy 1:15, he goes even further, calling himself “the worst of all sinners.”

Note that Paul doesn’t say, “I was the least of all the apostles and the saints” or “I was the worst of all sinners.” He says, “I am the least. I am the worst.”

I can imagine many people today telling Paul, “Don’t say that about yourself! You need to have a positive self-esteem!”

And yet, it was that attitude that caused Paul to stand so amazed at the grace he had received. Every day, he looked at that grace and wondered at it. Every time he thought about it, it brought tears to his eyes.

He wondered at the free access he had to his heavenly Father.

He wondered at the privilege he had to share the gospel with others.

And he rejoiced.

Do you feel you’re never good enough as a Christian?

It’s true. You aren’t. Neither am I.

But don’t be ashamed of it.

Rather let your unworthiness cause you to turn your eyes to God’s grace and rejoice at what you have received: Forgiveness. Free access to God. Opportunities to touch people for him. And an eternal inheritance.

I pray that you, being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love, and to know Christ’s love that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:17-19)