Can’t forgive? Or not willing?

At this, his fellow servant fell down and began begging him, “Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.”

But he wasn’t willing. (Matthew 18:29-30)

“But he was not willing.”

Those words struck me this morning.

Not willing to do what?

Not willing to be patient, certainly.

And most definitely not willing to forgive.

The picture behind verses 29-30 is that the fellow servant repeatedly asked for mercy. And the first servant repeatedly said, “I will not wait. I will not be patient. I will not forgive.”

Is that you?

Lots of people say, “I can’t forgive.”

But how often do they really mean, “I refuse to forgive”?

As God’s kids, that attitude is unacceptable. It’s unacceptable because God has forgiven us so much. To repeatedly say, “I will not forgive, I will not forgive, I will not forgive,” that is sin.

I’m not saying forgiveness is easy. Sometimes it’s downright hard. God understands that.

But there is a vast difference between stubbornly saying, “I refuse to forgive,” and humbly coming before God and saying, “I want to forgive, but I dont know how. Help me.”

Peter tells us,

All of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your cares on him, because he cares about you. (1 Peter 5:5-7)

Pride holds on to its hurt. “I’ve been hurt. I deserve to be treated better. He deserves to suffer for what he did to me.”

Humility recognizes that we ourselves have wounded others, that we have sinned against God himself.

Humility also recognizes how much we have needed the mercy of others and more importantly of God. And so we choose to let go of our hurt and forgive.

But again, forgiveness can be hard. The deeper the wound, the harder it is to forgive. But as Peter said, “God cares about you.”

God knows your wounds. And he wants to heal those wounds.

But he also knows that part of that healing can only come as you forgive. And he is willing to help you if you will humble yourself before him saying, “I don’t know how to forgive. But I am willing. Please show me how.”

How about you? Is there someone God is speaking to your heart about today?