At our church, we are going through a series on God as our shepherd. I suppose you saw a glimpse of that in yesterday’s blog.
Today, I’m meditating on Genesis 48:15. These were Jacob’s words to Joseph at the end of his life:
The God before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked,
the God who has been my shepherd all my life to this day…
Think about those words a bit.
I’m kind of guessing that Jacob saw Abraham and Isaac as “good sheep,” although both of them had their moments as black sheep. But in Jacob’s eyes, they “walked with God.”
How did Jacob see himself? I think he kind of saw himself as a black sheep for the first half of his life.
Although he had been raised by a God-fearing father in Isaac, Jacob had definitely had problems calling God, “My God.” (Genesis 28:20-22)
It took many years before he could say, “God, you are my God.” (Genesis 32:28, Genesis 33:20 footnote)
Put another way, for the first half of his life, Jacob had been a lost sheep who had wandered far from God.
And yet, Jacob in looking back at his life could say, “God has been my shepherd all my life.”
In other words, “I may have been a lost sheep. I may have wandered from him. I may not have always acknowledged him as my shepherd.
“But even so, God was my shepherd from the time I was born all the way until now.
When I was lost and hurting and scared, he sought hard after me.
“When I went through trials, some of my own making, and some not, he led me out of the darkest valleys.
“Through everything I have ever gone through, I have never been out of his care.”
My life has not been nearly as dramatic as Jacob’s. I never had a real rebellious stage, growing up in a Christian family.
But I can see all the ways he has been my shepherd from the time I was born until now.
He put me in a family that was seeking after God.
He called my name when I was 7 or 8 and I became a Christian.
At a time when I wasn’t particularly faithful to him, he remained faithful to me and truly revealed himself to me.
He then brought me into children’s ministry. And then into ministry with my peers.
When I was fighting hard to avoid coming here to Japan as a missionary, he gently directed my stubborn heart and brought me into far greener pastures here in Japan than I’d ever had in Hawaii.
At a time when I was seeking a wife, he brought me one.
After some terrible struggles, God gave us a beautiful daughter.
And to this day, I see all my stubbornness (and can I say outright disobedience at times?) and yet he never lost patience with me. He kept on leading me.
Looking back, his grace towards me has been amazing.
And so I say with Jacob in amazement and wonder, “God has been my shepherd all my life.”
Not because I’m such a good sheep. But because he is such a good shepherd. And by his grace, he chose to call me his own.
Through many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
–John Newton