Category: Mark 10

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Luke Luke 18 Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 20

Looking beyond ourselves

The gospels

As I read the story of Bartimaeus and his friend, what strikes me is the incredible compassion and love Jesus had for people.

Here Jesus is, headed for the cross, and his closest friends, despite all he’s told him, still don’t understand what’s about to happen.

In that situation it would have been understandable for him to get lost in his own thoughts, frustrations, and anxieties. But as he is walking along, he hears a familiar cry.

Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us! (Matthew 20:30)

It would have been so easy to miss. And even easier to ignore, pretending that he didn’t hear these two men over the crowd. Particularly since the people around these men were telling them to shut up.

But instead, Jesus stopped, and said, “Call them.”

And when these two men came up to him, he asked, “What do you want me to do?”

They replied, “Lord, we want to see.”

And Matthew tells us that Jesus was filled with compassion for these two men, touched them, and healed them.

Instead of focusing on his own troubles and frustrations, Jesus saw beyond himself to the needs of those crying out for help.

I wonder. How often do we see beyond ourselves and see the needs of others as Jesus did.

How often do we instead only look at ourselves and our needs and frustrations? And because of that we either miss or ignore the opportunities we have to reach out with God’s love.

I found out yesterday that Robin Williams died, apparently from suicide. Here was a man that brought so much laughter and even comfort to others. And yet, he was also a man tortured by his own demons.

And I wonder, “Was there a Christian in his life that missed that chance to minister to him?”

Maybe there wasn’t. And if there was, I’m not saying that I’m condemning them for missing that chance. Because I have missed too many opportunities of my own. I’ve failed.

May we learn to be like our Savior. Looking beyond ourselves long enough to see the needs and hurts of those in our lives. And like our Savior, reaching out with the hand of God to bring healing in their lives.

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Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 20

A totally different attitude

The gospels

As I mentioned in my last blog, though Jesus had been as crystal clear with the disciples as he possibly could, they still didn’t get it. They still didn’t get why he was there, and what was facing them.

Because if they had, I can’t imagine that James and John would have asked Jesus what they did, prompted by their mother or not.

They said,

Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory. (Mark 10:37)

One wonders how Jesus felt. Here he had just told them that he was going to die, and they were fighting for position in his kingdom. And so he said,

You don’t know what you are asking…Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with? (Mark 10:38)

In other words, “Haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve been saying? I’m going to die. You want to die on my right and left?”

That’s what he meant, but as usual, Jesus’ words went right over their heads, and they replied, “We can.”

Jesus then told them,

You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with. (Mark 10:39)

And in time, both of them would suffer for Christ. James was beheaded, and John was forced into exile.

But Jesus also told them,

But to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared. (Mark 10:40)

When the other disciples heard about James’ and John’s request, they became indignant.

Why? Because James and John were so insensitive to Jesus’ plight? No, they were indignant because they hadn’t thought of asking Jesus first. And each of them thought they were more qualified than the others.

But Jesus pulled them together, and he told them,

You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.

Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,
and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Mark 10:42-45)

Essentially what Jesus told them was, “Guys, you need a little attitude readjustment.

“All of you are so worried about your position in my kingdom, because you think that a high position means a cushy life. That it means ordering people around, and having them obey your every whim.

“But that’s not what greatness in my kingdom means. If you truly want to be great, you need to serve. And if you want to be at the very top, you need to be the slave of all.

“After all, I’m not here to have other people serve me. I’m here to serve and give my life for them.”

I’ve got to admit, I’m far from having this kind of attitude. And it’s a struggle sometimes, because it’s so easy to compete and compare myself with others.

But when we do ministry, the point is not to show ourselves better than others, it’s to serve them.

This is true not just in ministry, but in every aspect of life. At work, we need to be serving our customers and coworkers.

And in our homes, men especially need to have this kind of attitude as head of the household. An attitude of serving their wives and children.

And to be honest, I fail far too often in all three arenas.

And so I guess my prayer is the one that James and John offered in that old Christian musical “The Witness.” After hearing Jesus’ words, they prayed,

Lord make me like you. Please make me like you.
You are a servant. Make me one too.

O Lord I am willing.
Do what you must do to make me like you Lord.
Make me like you.

Whatever you do Lord, please make me like you.

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Luke Luke 18 Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 20

Failing to see what is clear

The gospels

As I look at this particular story, it is the last phrase in Luke’s account that strikes me.

The disciples did not understand any of this. Its meaning was hidden from them, and they did not know what he was talking about. (Luke 18:34)

“This” and “its” of course is referring to Jesus’ telling them that he would be betrayed and crucified, and then rise again from the dead.

Luke’s words strike me because Jesus spoke so plainly. I really don’t see how they could possibly misunderstand him. Yet, as clearly as Jesus spoke, they could not understand.

Why not?

Perhaps one reason was that they simply weren’t ready to understand. And that’s true with many of us as we look at scripture.

When we are young as Christians, some things are simply difficult to understand. But as we mature in our knowledge and our faith, we start to grasp the things God is telling us.

Perhaps there was some of this at work in the disciples, but I think there were other things as well.

For one thing, they didn’t want to understand. They didn’t want to believe that Jesus would die. And because they didn’t want to believe that he would die, any words concerning his death and resurrection went right past them.

For another, they were too focused on what they wanted, rather than what God’s will was. You only have to look at James’ and John’s request a few verses later to see that.

How often are we the same? We see something crystal clear in scripture, or God speaks to our heart so clearly that there should be no way that we can miss it, and yet we do.

Looking back, it should have been so clear to me that God was calling me to Japan. Time and again, people were telling me, “I can’t see you working at a regular desk job. I see you in ministry.”

Or sometimes they said outright, “I can see you being a missionary in Japan.”

But because I had no interest in ever leaving Hawaii, no less going to Japan, I couldn’t see it for a long time.

And whenever I read passages like, “Go and make disciples of all nations,” my thought was always, “Well, God isn’t calling ME to do that.”

It took several years, and a lot of work on God’s part to actually turn my heart, but when he did, I found the joy of following him and doing what he has said.

And so will you if you’ll soften your heart to him.

So the question is, “Where is your heart? Have you blinded yourself to what God is saying to you? Or have you opened your heart completely to what God is telling you?”

May our words to our Lord always be, “Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.”

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Luke Luke 18 Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 19

Is it worth it?

The gospels

Is it really worth it to follow Christ? That was the question the rich young ruler had to face. Unfortunately, he decided that it wasn’t.

Peter too asked himself the same question. “I’ve given up everything to follow after Jesus. But is it really worth it?” And so he said,

We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us? (Matthew 19:27)

Jesus replied,

Truly I tell you…no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life.

But many who are first will be last, and the last first. (Mark 10:29-31)

A couple of things to note here.

First, Jesus says that we will be rewarded for following him. Not just in heaven, but here. And not just rewarded, but richly rewarded.

This is not to say that we will all be wealthy. But at the end of the day, when we look back on our lives, we will be able to say, “I have been blessed. It was all worth it to follow Christ.”

But there’s also one little note that Jesus added. It’s only found in Mark, but it really stands out when you read it.

Jesus talks about all the blessings you will receive, but then he also warns, “You will be persecuted. Persecutions will come for following after me.”

In other words, being a Christian is not all fun and games. Yes, it is a joy. Yes, there are multiple blessings upon blessings for following Jesus.

But there will be people who will dislike, and even hate us for it. Jesus was the perfect Son of God, and people still hated him.

How can we expect to be exempt from the same treatment that Jesus received? As Jesus said, “No servant is greater than his master.” (John 15:20).

So let us not be surprised when hardships come because we follow Christ. Instead, let us keep our eyes on the prize, and know that whatever we may suffer in this life because we follow Christ, in the end, it truly will be worth it all.

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Mark Mark 10

Loving people enough to tell the truth

Jesus and rich ruler

It would be easy to think that Jesus was being mean by throwing out such an impossible challenge to the young ruler who wanted so desperately to enter the kingdom of God. 

Who at least to some degree was quite zealous for God, but who then quickly had that zeal quenched by the words Jesus spoke. 

But Mark tells us something very interesting about Jesus’ feelings for the young man. It says in verse 21, 

Jesus looked at him and loved him. 

Jesus looked not just at the exterior, he looked right into this man’s heart and soul. He saw the zeal. But he also saw what was lacking. And it was his deepest desire that this young man also see what was lacking so that he might seek help and find life. 

So he said something that revealed the truth to this young man. 

One thing you lack…Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me. (Mark 10:21b). 

In other words, “You told me you feel that you lack something. You do. You’ve put money above God. So go and sell everything you have. 

You said that you love your neighbor as yourself. Then take the money you receive from all you sell, and give it to the poor. Then you will have true treasure. Then come, follow me.” 

As he said this, it was Jesus’ deepest desire that this young man would find true life. But instead, the young man walked away sadly. 

Jesus didn’t sugarcoat the truth. He told it like it was. Not to be mean. Nor did he say it with coldness of spirit. Rather, he said it out of true compassion and love. 

We need to do the same. To speak the truth. Sometimes the truth is hard. Sometimes people will reject it. But we need to speak it. 

But we also need to say it with genuine love and compassion. Too often, people use it simply as a blunt instrument to beat people with. 

Let us not be that way. Instead, let us wield the truth in the manner that Jesus did. 

People may still reject it, but may they never doubt the spirit in which we speak. 

They may be hurt by what we say, but may they never doubt that we truly care for them and want what is best for them. 

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Luke Luke 18 Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 19

The impossibility of salvation

The gospels

My religion professor in university brought up this story when talking about Christianity. His point? “If you want eternal life, you have to sell everything you have.”

Which shows the fallacy of not looking at a scripture in its context, because that was not Jesus’ point at all.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

It’s interesting looking at the different accounts of this story, because through them, you get a composite view of this man who came to Jesus.

He was young (Matthew 19:22), rich (all the accounts), and a ruler (Luke 18:18)

And he asked Jesus, “Good teacher, what good thing must I do to inherit eternal life?”

Jesus answered, “Why do you call me good? And why do you ask me about what is good? No one is good except God alone.”

Here Jesus dispels one thing that many people say about Jesus. Namely, “Jesus was a good man, but he wasn’t God.”

Jesus told the young man and us, “You can call me God. Or you can call me just a man. But if you call me just a man, you cannot call me good, because only God is good.”

He then told the man, “You know the commandments. Do them, and you will find life.”

At first glance, it seems that Jesus is telling us that we can work our way into heaven. But look at what the young man said next.

All these I have kept…What do I still lack? (Matthew 19:20)

Here we see the problem of many people today. They do their best to follow God’s commands. To do what is right. Maybe, like this young man, they even think they have achieved it.

But deep in their soul, they know something is wrong. That something is lacking. Why?

Because though we may fool others and even ourselves, none of us meet God’s standard. The Bible says,

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

And if we look deeply into ourselves, we’ll realize that.

Why then, did Jesus point to the commandments as the way to life? I think the apostle Paul gives us the answer.

No one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law (because no one can keep it); rather, through the law we become conscious of sin. (Romans 3:20).

The law cannot make us righteous any more than a mirror can clean our face. What the law can do is show us the sin that is there.

And through the law, we see our need for a Savior.

The problem is, sometimes the mirror can get a little blurred. Not that the law itself is blurry, but we make it blurry by our own conceptions of what it means.

And that was the problem with this young man. He was convinced that he had kept the law. So Jesus cleaned off the mirror so that the young man could see clearly. He said,

If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me. (Matthew 19:21)

Why did Jesus say that? Because the young man was right. He was lacking something. He had put his money ahead of God. Money was most important to him.

And by this attitude, he broke the first commandment against putting anything ahead of God in his life.

The man now saw clearly. And sadly, instead of saying, “Jesus, help me. Have mercy on me a sinner,” he walked away. He walked away sadly. But he did walk away.

And Jesus said,

How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! (Mark 10:23).

His disciples were stunned to hear this because they always had thought that people were rich because of God’s blessing. But Jesus said again,

Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God!
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. (Mark 10:24-25).

Why? Because it is impossible to hold on to the things of God when you’re holding on to the things of this world. The rich have more things of this world to hold than most people. And more to let go of.

The disciples then asked,

Who then can be saved? (Mark 10:26).

And now we come to the key point of this entire passage. Jesus answered,

With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God. (Mark 10:27).

Salvation apart from God is impossible. None of us can make it because none of us are perfect. That’s what Jesus wanted to make clear to the young man.

But because of Christ’s work on the cross, because of what God did, salvation is now possible. All we have to do is believe.

As John wrote,

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16).

Won’t you accept God’s gift of salvation today?

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Luke Luke 18 Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 19

Like a child

The gospels

When Jesus rebuked his disciples for trying to chase the children away, he said to them,

Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.

I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. (Mark 10:14-15)

What does it mean to receive the kingdom like a child? What is a child like?

1. They are completely trusting. Until they are hardened by years of hurt, lies, and betrayal, they have a heart that is totally trusting and believes what it is told.

That’s the kind of heart that we need. Sin, at its base, is a lack of trust in God. It’s saying, “I don’t believe what you say. I don’t believe you want what’s best for me. So I’m going to do things my way.”

But as long as we hold that attitude, we will never enter God’s kingdom.

2. They are completely dependent, and they know it.

They can’t provide their own food. They can’t provide their own clothes or any of their needs. They are completely dependent on their parents to provide these things.

In the same way, we will never enter the kingdom of heaven until we come to the realization of how dependent we are on God. That there is nothing we can do to buy or earn our salvation.

Rather, we simply rely on his grace and the work Christ did on the Cross.

It’s so easy, it’s hard. People don’t want to believe it. They want to think their salvation is something they can work for and earn. They don’t want to admit that there is simply nothing they can do.

But it comes back to my first point. They need to learn to trust God completely. And Jesus said,

The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent. (John 6:29).

How about you? Are you coming to God with the heart of a child?

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Luke Luke 18 Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 19

The God of the “insignificant”

The gospels

As a father, I really love my daughter, but I have to admit there are times when she can be annoying. Particularly when I’m trying to do something, sometimes important, sometimes not, and she desperately wants my attention.

It’s so easy to just give her only part of my attention. To say, “Yes, yes, yes” to what she’s saying and quickly brush her off and return to what I’m doing. Or if I’m feeling particularly impatient, to simply say, “Later. I’m busy now.”

And that’s exactly what the disciples did in this passage.

Mothers were coming with their babies (some of them undoubtedly crying) or with their young children (most of them who were undoubtedly noisy and making a ruckus), and the disciples quickly got fed up with it, saying, “Get out of here. Jesus doesn’t have time for all these…kids.”

Jesus’ response was quick and sharp. It says in Mark,

When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. (Mark 10:14a)

Indignant. The dictionary defines it as showing anger at something that is unfair or wrong. And that was the response of Jesus when he saw his disciples shoving the children away.

He rebuked his disciples saying,

Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. (Mark 10:14b)

What can we get from this? That we don’t dare treat our children, or anyone for that matter, as the disciples did in this story. As insignificant. As unimportant. As not worth our time.

Because when we do, Jesus becomes indignant. They are his special creation. They are people that he loved so much that he died for them.

And so are you. Maybe you feel insignificant. Cast off. Rejected. But when Jesus sees you treated that way, he gets indignant. He has compassion on you. He loves you. And he would never cast you aside as so many others have.

So come to him. Draw near, knowing that in his eyes you are significant. You are precious. And that more than anything else, he wants a relationship with you.

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Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 19

Jesus on marriage and divorce: When our spouse’s heart is hardened

The gospels

I’ve mentioned before our need as a husband or wife to search our hearts. To see if there is any way in which we have hardened our hearts to God, or to our spouse.

This is important for any marriage, whether we think it’s healthy or not. Because if your heart is starting to harden to God or to your spouse, your marriage is in trouble, or very soon will be.

But what happens if our spouse’s heart has hardened against us? What do we do?

It’s a hard issue to deal with. And there are only two such cases that are specifically dealt with in scripture.

One is in the case where our partner is involved in adultery. And not only involved in adultery but is completely unrepentant.

Jesus specifically says in the Matthew passage, that divorcing that person and marrying another would not be considered adultery in the eyes of God.

Why is that?

Probably, because in the eyes of God, the other person has hardened their heart to the point that the bond has been completely broken. Your partner has become “one” with another.

The same can be said if you have been divorced, and your ex-partner has since remarried. In these cases, you are no longer bound to that person.

How about a one-time affair that your partner has repented of? That is less clear.

Trust broken at that level is difficult to restore. Not impossible, but very difficult.

That said, if your partner has repented, I do believe that it is God’s will that you stay with your spouse.

It won’t be easy. And you’ll definitely need the support of others on top of the grace of God. It will take time, probably much time to restore the trust. But it can be done.

And if your heart and the heart of your spouse is softened to Him, He can bring healing to your heart and to your marriage.

The apostle Paul brings up another situation in 1 Corinthians 7. Namely, abandonment. He says if your spouse is a non-believer, and they choose to walk away from you, you are not bound to stay married to that person.

These are the only reasons that Jesus and the apostles give for permitting divorce.

Many people today, however, wonder about domestic violence. Is divorce permissible in that situation? Jesus and the apostles were silent on the issue.

I don’t know why. It was a problem even in those days. Wives couldn’t divorce their husbands, but they could plead with the judges to force their husband to divorce them in cases of domestic abuse.

Because the Bible doesn’t address domestic violence, there are many pastors that think domestic violence is not a reason for divorce.

Here’s what I can say for sure: If you are in danger from your spouse, if they are abusing you and they refuse to get help, you are not bound in that situation to keep living with that person. Protect yourself and your children.

I think Jesus’ words to the Pharisees in Matthew 12:7 are very apropos here:

If you had known what this means, I desire mercy and not sacrifice, you would not have condemned the innocent. (Matthew 12:7)

I don’t think God requires the beating of and even killing of wives on the altar of preserving a marriage.

So does that mean divorce is okay in cases of domestic violence? I don’t know if that’s the right question.

So what is the right question?

Jesus said that in the days of Moses, God allowed for divorce because of the hardness of people’s hearts.

Question: Should those words ever describe the heart of a Christian?

No.

So in my opinion, God permits divorce only if your spouse’s heart is so hard, that to continue the marriage is no longer possible.

What does that mean for you if you’re contemplating divorce?

Whatever situation you may be facing, adultery, abandonment, domestic violence, or whatever else it may be, before you make any decision, search your heart.

And again, ask, “Is there any way in which I have hardened my heart to my spouse or to God?”

That is the most important question.

As long as the answer to that question is yes, I think you should put off ideas of divorce. Divorce should never be because of the hardness of your heart.

But in cases where you have totally opened your heart to God and to your spouse, and yet your spouse has completely hardened their heart to you and demands a divorce, or your life is at risk because of that person’s hardness of heart, I think divorce is permissible.

God doesn’t command it, but he understands, and it is permissible.

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Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 19

Jesus on marriage and divorce: When our hearts are hardened

The gospels

It’s kind of interesting looking at the gospels and trying to harmonize them sometimes. I don’t know if I’m harmonizing Matthew and Mark well here, but it’s amusing to look at these passages this way.

Pharisees: “Is it lawful to divorce your wife for any reason?”

Jesus: “Don’t you know that when husband and wife get married, the two become one? What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Pharisees: “Why then did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

Jesus: “Excuse me? What did Moses command you? He commanded you, ‘Thou shalt divorce your wife?'”

Pharisees: “Well, no. But he did permit a man to divorce his wife.”

Jesus: “That’s right. He permitted it, not commanded it. And the only reason he permitted it was because your hearts were hard. But it was not that way from the beginning.”

All humor aside, the issue is very serious. And in this passage, Jesus lays out why divorce is so common in our day and age. People harden their hearts against God, and they harden their hearts against their spouse.

How do people harden their hearts against God?

First, they harden their hearts against his teaching against marriage. That it is to be for life. That you are to be faithful to your spouse. That husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. That wives are to submit to their husband as the church does to Christ.

Instead, they make all kinds of excuses as to why it’s impossible for them to do so.

“Well, she doesn’t submit to me, so why should I show that kind of love to her?”

“Well he doesn’t show love to me, so why should I submit to him?”

“You just never know about marriage. Maybe he really isn’t the one, so it’s best to keep your options open in case it doesn’t work out.”

Or during their arguments, God starts speaking to one or both of them saying, “Let it go. Give in. It’s not worth fighting about.”

But in their pride or anger, they refuse to heed his voice.

How do people harden their hearts against their spouses? They fail to listen to each other.

When husbands hear their wives complain they are working too much, they dismiss it without thought, saying, “But we need the money.”

When husbands complain about a lack of intimacy, the wives dismiss it because they are “too tired.”

When wives share with their husbands how their actions or words were hurtful, husbands dismiss their wives as being too sensitive.

This list could go on and on.

The end result? Divorce.

So many people wonder why their marriages fail. Some try two or three times, or even more, to get things right, and never do.

The reason? They’ve never dealt with their heart. They’ve never learned to soften their hearts to God’s voice and to their spouses.

Are you single? Are you seeking a spouse? Then start by searching your heart.

When God speaks to you about your actions now, when he convicts your heart about the way you live, are you listening?

Because when you get married, he will start speaking to you about how you treat your spouse.

But if you’re hardening your heart to God now when he speaks, you’ll take that attitude into your marriage, and if you do, your marriage won’t last long.

Are you married? Are you frustrated by your spouse? Start by taking your eyes off of them, and put them on you.

How have you hardened your heart to your spouse? Let God speak to your heart about the things that you need to do.

Are you divorced and looking for another spouse? Before you do, ask yourself, how did I harden my spouse in the past? How did I harden my heart to God?

Because until you address these issues, you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes you committed before.

And the first question you need to ask yourself is, “Am I hardening myself to God and my ex-spouse by not working to reconcile with my ex-spouse?”

What is the state of your heart?

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Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 19

Jesus on marriage and divorce: Why divorce hurts so much

The gospels

Divorce is one of those touchy topics that is difficult to deal with, if only because of the emotions and hurt that is often involved.

But considering the social climate we’re in, in which marriages fall apart at such a high rate, I think that it is vital for us to take a serious look at what Jesus said about marriage and divorce.

The Pharisees came up to Jesus, asking,

Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason? (Matthew 19:3)

This was a hot topic of the time, much as it is today. And for some of the Pharisees, they did pretty much believe that it was lawful to get divorced for any reason.

For others, they held a much stricter view that there had to be some kind of sexual sin involved for a divorce to be lawful.

The truth is, many of the Pharisees did get divorced, and as I mentioned before, often times, it was with the intent of marrying another.

They had married, only to meet another woman they desired, but in order to “avoid” the sin of adultery, they simply divorced their wife and married the other woman.

I believe it was this situation that Jesus was specifically addressing in the Sermon on the Mount, and in these passages here.

He was telling the Pharisees and us, “Even if you don’t technically commit adultery by sleeping with a woman you’re not married to, if you divorce your wife because you’ve found another woman, you are still committing adultery in the eyes of God, whether you marry that second woman or not.”

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

In answer to the Pharisees’ question, Jesus replied,

Haven’t you read…that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Matthew 19:4-6)

Jesus totally bypassed the arguments of the “experts” of the day, and went straight to scripture.

And by doing so, he tells us exactly what marriage was supposed to be: a union between a man and a woman where they are no longer two separate entities, but one. The two are “glued” together and become one flesh.

Sometimes people wonder why God says sex is only to be between husband and wife.

The main reason is that there is a joining that occurs during the sexual act. Not just a physical joining, but an emotional joining as well. It’s a joining in which the two are glued together as one.

Have you ever used super glue, and gotten your fingers stuck together? What happens if you forcibly try to pull them apart. Your skin rips off.

Divorce is the same. There is no clean break. Because of the oneness in body and emotion that occurred, it causes a tearing in the soul when two people divorce.

The same is true when two people become sexually intimate outside of marriage. When the relationship breaks up, there is a tearing of soul that occurs because of the oneness that was shared between them.

And that tearing becomes much more painful the longer the relationship goes on. All that they share, not just sexually, but all the experiences they go through together, both good and bad, pull a couple closer together and make them one.

Jesus is telling us the reason divorce is so bad is because it tears apart a part of our soul. What was meant to be one forever, a oneness in body, in heart, in soul, is torn apart.

And so he tells us, “What God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Am I saying there can be no healing from divorce? That there can be no forgiveness? No. But I think we need to understand two things.

First, marriage was meant to be forever. It was how God designed it.

And second, when we get away from God’s design, pain is inevitable.

Why then do so many people get divorced? We’ll get into that in the next blog.