Category: Matthew 18

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Mark Mark 9 Matthew Matthew 18

Parable of the unforgiving servant: Seasoned with mercy? Or fire?

The gospels

It’s been interesting putting all the accounts of this one discourse into one place.

But let us go back once more to the start of it: an argument between the disciples about who was the greatest. And probably during the argument, there were a lot of words said and feelings hurt.

So after Jesus talked about what to do when a person offends you, Peter asked a question that was very real to him at the moment. One of the other disciples had hurt him.

It wasn’t the first time, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. The question was, how many times was he obligated to forgive?

Peter suggested seven, which at that time, was considered very magnanimous.

Rabbis at the time threw out the number three in forgiving a repeated offense. (Certainly this number is found nowhere in the Bible).

Jesus answered, “Not 7 times, but 77 times (or 70 times 7).”

One wonders if he was referencing the Old Testament, where a man named Lamech issued a curse in which if anyone hurt him, that he would be avenged 77 times. (Genesis 4:24)

But here, Jesus teaches that we are not to look to curse the person who hurts us, but to forgive.

Jesus, by the way, is not teaching that we should forgive up to 77 times or even 490 times. Rather, we are to always forgive.

He then tells the famous story of a king who forgives the huge debt of one of his servants.

The servant promptly goes out, sees another person that owes him money and demands it back. When the person begs for more time, the servant refuses, and has him thrown in prison.

The king, however, heard about it, and called the servant back in, saying,

You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.

Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you? (Matthew 18:32-33)

He then had him thrown into jail to be tortured until he paid all that he owed. Jesus then said,

This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart. (Matthew 18:35)

Some points. To the servant who had his debt forgiven, the amount the other man owed him was huge. Basically it was about 4 months wages worth of debt.

But compared to the debt he had owed to the king, a debt worth millions and impossible to pay, there was no comparison at all.

Sometimes people hurt us, and to us, it is huge. We are hurt and scarred deeply. But what we need to realize is that our debt of sin that we owe to God is so much greater. Sure, our sins may be “smaller,” but what is small adds up.

If you sin 3 times a day, that’s nearly 1000 sins a year. Multiply that by your age and you start to get an idea of just how big your debt to God is. Yet God forgave you. Shouldn’t you forgive others?

If we don’t, what will happen? The servant in the story cast the man indebted to him away from himself to wallow in his guilt. And the man was guilty.

So often, we do the same. We refuse to forgive, and we cut that person off, hoping to make them wallow in their guilt.

But when the king found out, he cut that person off from his presence and handed him over to be tortured by the jailers.

I believe in the same way, when we refuse to forgive, God will hand us over to Satan to have at us. To make our lives miserable. To make us wallow in our bitterness and anger.

Why? Because God hates us? No. Because he loves us and wants us to repent.

I wonder about the order of all that Jesus said in these parallel passages. And I wonder if perhaps things weren’t said in the exact order that Mark places them. Because it fits perfectly here. Jesus said,

Everyone will be salted with fire. (Mark 9:49)

In other words, if you refuse God’s seasoning of grace and mercy, he will salt you with fire. He’ll make your life miserable until you repent.

Jesus then concludes,

Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? (Mark 9:50a)

Jesus calls us the salt of the earth. To flavor the world around us with his grace and mercy. But if we hold on to bitterness and anger in our lives, we lose that saltiness. So Jesus told his disciples and us,

Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other. (Mark 9:50b).

How about you? Are you salt to those who hurt you?

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Matthew Matthew 18

Loosening God’s hand in those who hurt us

Matthew

This passage is similar to what we see in Matthew 16, and I have to admit, both are difficult to interpret within the context.

In Matthew 16, Jesus talks about binding and loosing. That whatever you bind on earth would be bound in heaven, but whatever you loose on earth would be loosed in heaven.

As I look back on Matthew 16, it seems the reference is to God’s kingdom and salvation.

Throughout the New Testament, it seems that God wants to use us to reach people, rather than appearing to them directly.

As Christ’s body, we are his mouth, hands, and feet to those around us. And if we are going out and preaching the gospel, sharing the keys to the kingdom to those around us, God’s hands will be completely loosened to work for their salvation.

But if we refuse to go out, if we refuse to tell others about Jesus, God’s hands will be tied to some extent. Not literally, of course. But most times, he will not work unless we do.

Peter “loosened” God’s hands in two ways.

One was by preaching the gospel. First he preached to the Jews, loosening God’s hand to work in their lives.

Yet by failing to go out to the Gentiles as Jesus commanded in the great commission, the disciples limited God’s work of salvation.

God then had to do what he prefers not to: direct intervention, first talking to Cornelius through an angel, and then through a vision to Peter. But throughout the rest of the New Testament, salvation came only as people preached to others.

Peter also loosened God’s work in the Gentiles’ lives by freeing them from the requirements of the Jewish law. By doing so, it made it so much easier for them to enter God’s kingdom.

In this passage, however, the context of these words are different. Again, Jesus says, “Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 18:18)

What does Jesus mean in this context?

I think the idea is that when we’ve been hurt, and the other person refuses to repent, we are to pray for them, loosening God’s hand to work in their lives.

Too many times, we are bound by bitterness and anger toward the person that hurt us. Too many times, we are not praying for that person that hurt us, we are praying about that person.

“Lord, I am so hurt and angry. Look at what he did! I can’t believe it. Give him what he deserves!”

But when Jesus was on the cross, he didn’t pray about those who hurt him. He prayed for them.

“Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)

By praying for those who mistreated him, it allowed God to work in the lives of those who hated him. Indeed, it allowed God to work his work of salvation.

When we pray for those who hurt us, rather than simply pray about them, it loosens God’s hands so to speak, and allows him to work in their lives.

Not to say that God can’t work without our prayers, but most times, he only chooses to work because of them.

But if we hold on to bitterness, we stay the hand of God, both in our lives, and in the lives of the people who hurt us.

It’s not easy to let go. But that’s why God has given us brothers and sisters to support us. They can help us in reconciliation with those who hurt us. And they can help us in prayer.

Jesus said,

I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.

For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. (Matthew 18:19-20)

How about you? Are you binding the Father’s hand or are you loosening his hand in your life and in the lives of those who have hurt you?

Put another way, are you simply praying about those who have hurt you, or are you praying for them?

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Matthew Matthew 18

Biblical principles: When people repeatedly hurt you

hurt

Dealing with hurt is difficult. Dealing with hurt from those you once trusted is even worse.

What do you do when someone continually hurts you? Do we just take it? What does Jesus say?

Fortunately, we don’t have to guess.

It seems that as the disciples were arguing among themselves about who was the greatest, they had wounded each other, resulting in cracks in their relationships. Jesus knew this, and that’s why he gave them the instruction we see in this passage.

He said,

If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. (Matthew 18:15)

Notice two things here. First, if someone hurts you, you are not to wait for that person to come to you and apologize to you. You are to go to them.

Often times we are so angry at the other person, that we demand that they come to us and apologize for what they did.

But that kind of attitude is not one of peace, but of pride. And God calls us to be peacemakers.

Remember that in the Beatitudes, Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.” (Matthew 5:9).

That doesn’t just mean bringing peace between others that you know. It means bringing peace in your own relationships.

But if there’s one thing that will prevent peace in a relationship, it’s pride.

Furthermore, there are many times when people hurt us, and they don’t know it. As a result, we could wait forever, and they’ll never come. So Jesus says, if someone hurts you, you go to them.

Second, notice that there’s no room for gossip or slander here. Jesus doesn’t say, “If your brother hurts you, go tell the world about it.” He says, “Go to the brother that hurt you and talk about it.”

And hopefully, when they understand the hurt they’ve caused you, they will apologize and your relationship will be restored.

A key point, by the way.

If someone confronts you like this, remember that what’s not important is if you feel your words or actions should have hurt them.

What’s important is that your words or actions did hurt them. And it’s on you not only to apologize, but to make sure you avoid such actions in the future. That’s also what it means to be a peacemaker.

But what if you confront a person who hurts you, and they refuse to acknowledge their wrong?

Then Jesus says bring one or two other people with you. Share with them what happened. Not to gossip or badmouth the other person. But with the hope that with their help, reconciliation will happen.

It’s entirely possible that with their counsel, you realize that you are simply misunderstanding the other person. Or perhaps with their help, the other person will come to understand they were wrong.

Either way, remember the goal of bringing in these people is peace.

If a person still refuses to hear you, then bring in the church. You don’t have to bring in the whole congregation. But perhaps bring in a pastor or another respected person of the church and have them try to mediate.

But if that fails, Jesus says,

Treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. (Matthew 18:17).

What does that mean?

Basically, it means to change your expectations of them. Don’t expect them to act like a brother or sister in Christ, because they are not acting that way. Treat them as an unbeliever who doesn’t know Christ.

We don’t expect unbelievers to act like believers, and if a person refuses to repent, we should stop expecting them to act like a believer.

Keep your guard up against them. Don’t fool yourself into thinking they’ve changed until they repent, and you see signs of that repentance.

And if at all possible, try to avoid them, much as people avoided tax collectors in those days.

Why?

Because you’re bitter?

Because you’re angry?

No. You need to let go of those feelings because they will bind you up.

Rather, avoid the other person because they are dangerous to you. As long as they can’t see their own wrong, you’re always in danger of being hurt by them. So avoid them.

How about you? How are you dealing with the people who have hurt you?

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Mark Mark 9 Matthew Matthew 18

How God sees our children

The gospels

In his discourse on greatness in the kingdom of heaven, Jesus also makes it very clear how God feels about children.

First, he gives us a warning. “Don’t do things that would cause a child to sin.”

If that isn’t clear enough, he tells us,

But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come! (Matthew 18:6-7)

He then goes on to say you’d be better off to maim yourself than to do something that would cause a child to sin.

Why is Jesus so vehement about this? Because children are impressionable. They learn from what they see us do.

If they see us losing our temper all the time, that’s what they’ll do.

If they see us taking our spouse for granted, they will learn to do the same when they get married.

And if we abuse them, they will tend to abuse their children when they become parents.

So be careful how you act around your children, because God will hold you accountable for it.

He also warns us, however,

See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. (Matthew 18:10)

God cares so much about children, that he assigns angels to them to watch over them. And if God so cares about them, how can we dare see them as any less valuable. To push them aside as unimportant or insignificant. To see them as anything less than the treasures God has entrusted us with.

He then compares them to sheep that are lost, and how God will do anything to save them. He concludes by saying,

In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost. (Matthew 18:14)

A couple things here. I do believe there is an age of accountability. That there is a point when a child will be held responsible for their sin.

What that age is, I don’t know. My guess is that it would depend on the child. Whenever they become aware of their sin, and that it’s really wrong, that’s when they will be held accountable for it.

Second, just because it says that the Father is not willing that any of the little ones be lost does not mean that they cannot be lost.

It says in 2 Peter 3:9 that God is not willing that any should perish but that all would repent. But in that same passage, Peter makes clear that people will perish if they don’t repent. And so will children if they willfully reject God in their lives.

So let us treasure our children. Let us value them as God does. And let us preach the gospel clearly to them so that they may be saved too.

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Luke Luke 9 Mark Mark 9 Matthew Matthew 18

The greatest

The gospels

I think something that gives me hope as I look at how much I have yet to grow as a Christian, is to look at Jesus’ disciples, and how much patience Jesus had to have with them.

One day, as they were walking down to Capernaum, they started squabbling about who among them was the greatest. Jesus heard them, but kept on walking as perhaps their voices became louder and more heated.

But when they arrived at the house they were staying at, he asked them,

What were you arguing about on the road? (Mark 9:33)

A very embarrassed silence fell in the room, as none of them wanted to admit what they had been talking about. So Jesus told them,

If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all. (Mark 9:35)

Perhaps at that, his disciples traded confused looks with each other. And so to try to get a clearer answer, they asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven then?” (Matthew 18:1).

In other words, “Who among us is the greatest?”

At that point, Jesus took a child into his arms, perhaps the son or daughter of the person they were staying with. And he said,

I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:3-4)

What was Jesus saying? He was saying two things. First, no one can even enter the kingdom of heaven unless they become like a little child.

What is a little child like? They are humble. They don’t think they know it all. That’s why they’re always pestering their parents with questions. More than that, they are dependent on their parents for everything.

And if we are to enter the kingdom of heaven, we need to be the same way. We need to humble ourselves before God. To admit we don’t know everything and to seek God’s wisdom and his ways.

And we need to learn to rely on him. For our salvation, first of all, but then to rely on his wisdom and strength to live each day.

So often people don’t, however. They think they’re smart enough and strong enough to live life on their own. But as long as they think that way, they’ll never enter God’s kingdom.

Even after they become Christians, people often struggle with this. I know I do. Too often, I live on my own wisdom and strength. And even now, I’m realizing how inadequate I am, and just how much I need him.

But Jesus’ second point is that greatness in the kingdom of heaven is measured not by how many people serve you, but by how many people you serve. He said, “If you want to be great, you must become the servant of all.”

If you think about the great leaders in history, the people who didn’t force others to follow them, but were people that others wanted to follow. These leaders lived to serve.

Jesus told his disciples that meant even serving those who can’t give you any “benefit.”

He said,

Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me. (Mark 9:37).

Let’s face it, serving children doesn’t bring much benefit in itself because children don’t have the power to give you much.

But Jesus says that when you serve them, you’re really serving Christ.

For that matter, whenever you serve anyone because you love Jesus, you really are serving Christ. And that’s the kind of person that Jesus considers great in his kingdom.

Are you looking to be great in God’s kingdom? Then be like a child. Humble. And willing to serve others, looking to their needs above your own, whoever they are, great or small.

Is that you?