Category: Song of Solomon

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Song of Solomon

Sealed

Song of Solomon

And so after over 900 posts, and 2 and a half years, we come to the end of the Old Testament.

In this final passage, the lovers are coming back from their short trip together, and it’s evident to all their love for each other, as they see the woman leaning on her husband’s arm.

And the woman tells her husband,

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.  It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.

Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.  If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.  (Song of Solomon 8:6-7)

A seal in those days was a mark of ownership.  And if someone possessed another’s seal, it was a sign of mutual access and possession.

In other words, she was saying, “You belong to me, and I to you.  We are sealed to each other.”

She described their love as strong as death (6b).  Even death could not break the love she had for him, and their love would last beyond death.

This is especially true for all who are in Christ, because though we may die, we will see our spouses once again in heaven.

She said her love’s jealousy would never yield (Song of Solomon 8:6c).

We often think of jealousy in a negative sense.  But jealousy is wrong only when we desire something that belongs to another.

In this case, however, she belongs to her husband, and he to her.  And basically she’s saying that she won’t let anything get between her and husband, and the love that they have for each other.

If only all couples so jealously guarded their relationships.

Too often, we let other things get in the way which destroy our relationships, whether it’s hobbies, work, or even another lover.  Our love for our spouse should never yield to these things.

She then compared her love to a fire, a fire that nothing could quench.  And she said it was a love that no amount of money could buy.  (7)

As she thinks of her own relationship with her husband, her thoughts then turn toward her sister, who is yet a virgin.  And she longs for her sister to have the same kind of marriage relationship that she has.

She says of her sister, “If her walls protecting her virtue are strong, I want to make them stronger.  If she seems to be an open door, susceptible to anyone that would approach her, I want to protect her and close up that door.”  (8-9)

She then thinks of how glad she was that she kept her virginity until she got married.  And she knows that because she did, she won the respect of her husband.

More than that, she was able to give her all to her husband.  She had given to no one else what she gave him.  (10)

Solomon’s vineyard was so big that he had to let it out to tenants in order for it to be cared for.  Many took of its fruits, and paid Solomon for it.

But this woman’s “vineyard,” that is, her body, was her own, and she had chosen to give it to Solomon.

He didn’t have to pay to taste of her fruits.  She gave it freely to him.

She told him that if he wanted to pay someone, he should pay those who had helped protect her virtue over the years.  (11-12)

The song closes with Solomon calling out to her and her responding, saying, “Come away with me, my lover.”

For every single person that reads this blog, my prayer is that you would save yourself for that one person to give your heart, soul, and body to.

For those who are married, my prayer is that you would be sealed to their spouse as this couple was, forever calling and responding to each other in love.

Amen.

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Song of Solomon

Making time to be with your spouse

Song of Solomon

In this passage, we see Solomon and his wife spending time together.

In chapter 7, verses 1-10, we see Solomon expressing his delight in his wife, and how beautiful she is.  He also expresses how much he desires her sexually, saying,

How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights!

Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit.  I said, “I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.”

May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples and your mouth like the best wine.  (Song of Solomon 7:6-9a)

I don’t know how many people would use this kind of imagery today, but the meaning, I think, is quite clear.

She responds with delight, saying,

May the wine go straight to my lover, flowing gently over lips and teeth.  (9b)

And as she basks in her husband’s love, she sighs,

I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. (10)

But it doesn’t stop there, she suggests they go out together, and the purpose is very clear as she says in verses 12-13,

There I will give you my love.

The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my lover.  (12-13)

Mandrakes were plants that were known for their aphrodisiacal properties.

So she is essentially saying, “Let’s go out and find somewhere new to make love.  I have even stored up some new things, some surprises for us to enjoy together.”

In chapter 8, she continues to show her desire for her husband, saying she wishes that she could be as openly affectionate with her husband in public, as she could with her brother.

She thinks back to her mother, and how her mother taught her about love and marriage, and desires to show her mother how well she learned.

And once again, in verses 2-4 we see the sexual desires she has for her husband, all the while charging those who are single to remain pure until marriage, as she had charged them twice before.

What can we get from this?

Number one, I think it’s important perhaps even more so for the women, to understand how important sex in marriage.

Men are wired to desire sexual intimacy in a very strong way.  If you don’t know, women, let me tell you.  We think about it constantly.

And while wives are often somewhat different from their husbands in their need for sexual intimacy, and some may not feel such a need for it as often, nevertheless, it’s important to make time for it.

To even initiate it as this woman did and come up with ideas for how to enjoy it more.

Why is it so important?  It helps us to bond with each other.

But another major reason is that it’s protection for us, especially the husband.

Paul wrote to married couples,

Do not deprive each other [of sex] except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.

Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  (1 Corinthians 7:5)

He also points out,

The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.

In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife  (1 Corinthians 7:4)

Or as Solomon’s wife puts it,

My lover is mine and I am his (2:16).

And so in marriage, it’s important to make time for each other.  To make time for sex, certainly.  But also in general, going on dates, and doing things with each other.

How about you?  Are you making time for your spouse?

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Song of Solomon

Still captivated

Song of Solomon

As I look at these passages, I can’t help but think of the words of Solomon when he wrote,

May you rejoice in the wife of your youth.  A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.  (Proverbs 5:18-19)

And that’s what you see in these passages.

Though some time has passed since the wedding, Solomon is still captivated by his wife.

If anything, he is even more captivated.  Along with the metaphors that he used previously to describe his love for her, he adds more.

He compares her to the cities of Tirzah and Jerusalem.  (Song of Solomon 6:4)

Just as it takes time to explore a city to discover all its glory, so it takes time to explore your spouse, and all the depths that make them what they are.  It is in fact, a lifelong process.

He tells her that when he looks into her eyes, they still overwhelm him.  (5).

After years of marriage, I can say the same when I look into my wife’s eyes and see the love that she has for me there.

He calls her his perfect one.

I think that as time passes, we can see that our spouses are not perfect.  But the eyes of love are willing to overlook their faults.  Indeed, the eyes of love often cause people to rise above what they are.

Some look at verse 8 and conclude that Solomon must have had other wives and concubines by this time, and that may be true.

It’s also possible that at this time, he was still monogamous and was simply throwing out a hypothetical situation (though one wishes it had remained hypothetical).

The main point, though, was of all the women in his life, she had a special place in his heart.

Men may have different women in their lives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends.  But as God intended it, his wife is to trump them all.  She is to take priority over all other women in his life.

Even when Solomon went out to conduct business, he found his thoughts drifting back to his wife, and they soon had him in his chariot racing back to her (11-12)

That should be a husband’s attitude.

Certainly, work is necessary, and hopefully enjoyable.

But his desire for his wife should outweigh his love for his work.  If we love our work more than our wives, this is never a good thing.

The same can be said for the working woman concerning her husband.

How about you?  Are you still captivated by your spouse?

It’s not simply an ideal.  It’s certainly not intended to be just a dream awoken by “reality.”

It’s what God intended for you and your spouse from the beginning.

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Song of Solomon

Anger, hurt, reconciliation

broken relationships

Marriage relationships don’t always go swimmingly.  In this world broken by sin, anger and hurt between husband and wife are a given.  The question is, how do we respond to it?

That’s what we see in this passage.

Most commentators take this to be a kind of dream sequence.  But it depicts the feelings that often occur in marriage.

Perhaps the woman’s husband was late in coming home that night.  Perhaps for work.  Perhaps for other reasons.

And so she went to bed in anger and resentment, falling asleep before he came home.

In her dreams, she hears her husband calling, asking her to let him in because the door is locked.

But in her anger, she snaps, “I’m already in bed.  Do I have to get up just to let you in?”

In Ephesians 4:26-27, Paul tells us,

“In your anger do not sin”:  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

That we will get angry with our spouse is a given.  Inevitably we do things to hurt each other whether we intend to or not.

But Paul charges us not to sin in our anger.  Not to hold on to anger or resentment, because in doing so, we give Satan a foothold in our lives, and in this case, our marriage.

But this woman held on to resentment toward her husband for being late.

Maybe he had had a pattern of coming home late.  Maybe it was just this one night, but he had failed to call.

At any rate, when he finally came back, she had locked him out.

We may not lock our spouse out of the house (at least I hope you don’t), but how often in our anger, do we lock them out of our hearts?

As the spouse locked out, how do we respond?

I think Solomon gives us a clue.  He doesn’t try to force his way in.  Rather, he simply leaves a sign of his love.

It says in verse 5, that when the woman finally came to open the door for him, she found it covered in myrrh.

In their culture, lovers would do this to show that they had been there.  In modern terms, he left her flowers.

Sometimes our spouses gets angry with us.  Sometimes we feel it’s justified.  Sometimes we don’t.

But if we don’t want Satan to get a foothold in our marriage, we shouldn’t respond to anger with anger, but with love.

Apologize, if necessary.  And remind them of your love.

In her dream, as she saw her lover’s efforts to reach out, she finally responded, but it was too late.  He was gone.

So she went out looking for him.  It’s possible as she did so, she was beating herself up for her own attitude, which is perhaps why she dreamed of the watchmen beating her.

When others asked her why she was desperate to find him, she told them of all the things she loved about him.

It is something worth doing, even in our times of anger toward our spouse.  It’s easy to focus on all the negative things about them.  But it is especially during those times that we should think of all the things we love about them.

And while she talks about his physical features, she also describes him as the one who loves her, as a lover and a friend.

That’s what we should remind ourselves of too.  That though our spouse may fail us, they do love us.

Perhaps it’s as her friends ask her, “Where is your lover that we may search for him,” that she awakes to find her husband by her side “browsing among the lilies.”  (See chapter 4, verse 5, and chapter 5, verse 13).

All her anger is forgotten, as she says,

I am my lover’s and my lover is mine.  (Song of Solomon 6:3)

Marriage does not become a bed of roses naturally.  It takes work.  It takes cultivating.  And part of that is dealing with our anger and the anger of our spouses in a right way.

How about you?  How do you deal with anger in your marriage?

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Song of Solomon

Wedding Day: God’s intention for marriage

I’ve been married for 8 years now, and I still remember my wedding day very well.  I remember how beautiful my wife looked that day, and to this day, she is still beautiful in my eyes.

In chapter 3, you can see Solomon’s limousine coming to pick her up for the wedding, escorted by all his secret service men (okay, so it was a chariot and soldiers, but you get the idea).

Her eyes light upon Solomon looking stunningly handsome in his wedding garb.

Solomon in turn, is totally infatuated with his new bride, as we see him in chapter 4, saying,

How beautiful you are, my darling!  Oh, how beautiful!  (Song of Solomon 4:1)

He then goes into intimate detail of all the things he likes about her, from her eyes, to her teeth, to her temples, to her lips, to her neck, and down to her breasts.

I can imagine him kissing each part as he whispers these words of love.

And unlike in chapter two, where she bade him to leave until the break of day, now he says to her,

Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense.  (Song of Solomon 4:6)

I don’t think you have to stretch your imagination far to understand what he means by mountain and hill, particularly after looking at verse 5.

At any rate, he and she intend to totally enjoy their first night together.  And Solomon concludes by saying,

All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you  (Song of Solomon 4:7).

This is the language of love, and very erotic.  And it is good.

How often do husbands and wives continue using this kind of language 10 or 20 years into their marriage?

How much better would marriages be if they did?

He calls her to leave behind her home in Lebanon and to be with him forever, saying,

You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.

How delightful is your love my sister, my bride!  How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!  (Song of Solomon 4:9-10)

It’s a little weird in our culture to refer to our wives as sisters, but in their culture it was common.  The idea is that she was now part of his family.

And if there’s any thought that French kissing started in France, take a look at verse 11.  Solomon knew well about this type of kissing as well.  🙂

But one thing that Solomon admired about her was that she had saved her body for him and him alone.

Before their wedding day, she had been a locked garden,  a spring enclosed, and a sealed fountain.  Though there was much to enjoy of her in a sexual and passionate relationship, she had preserved herself for marriage.

But now, she opens up her garden to him, giving her whole self, body and soul to him, saying,

Awake, north wind, and come, south wind!  Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad.

Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.  (Song of Solomon 4:16)

After coming together, and as they lie next to each other, Solomon says,

I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice.

I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk.  (Song of Solomon 5:1a)

At this point, someone speaks.

Who?  Some say it’s her friends.

But my guess is it’s God himself.  And he says,

Eat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers.  (Song of Solomon 5:1b)

That’s what marriage is supposed to be.  Two people loving each other, saving themselves for each other, and enjoying each other in every way.

This is what God blesses.

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Song of Solomon

Keeping ourselves pure

Song of Solomon

We live in a culture where purity is hard to come by.  How many husbands and wives come into their marriages sexually pure?

Everything in our culture seems to fight against it.

TV dramas constantly depict sex before marriage, and outside of it.  Movies do the same.  The internet is full of it, and makes porn even more easily accessible than ever.

More than that, everyone seems to just think it’s natural to sleep with their boyfriend or girlfriend.  Or to move in with them before they get married.

But that’s not what God intended when he created sex.  He created it as something good and to be enjoyed, but only within the confines of marriage.

Within marriage, it’s a beautiful thing that helps bind a couple together, not just physically, but emotionally, and spiritually as well.

But taken outside of marriage, sex often leads to heartache and pain.

Here in this passage, we see a passionate woman who nonetheless saw the need for purity.  As you look at her words, you see her strong desire for her lover.

We see them on their wedding night here, lying together in intimate embrace.  (Song of Solomon 2:3-7)

She compares her husband to an apple tree, and you can see the security that she feels in their relationship.

She says his embrace is like sitting in the shade protected from the hot sun, and all the while, she tastes of his “fruits.” She then asks him for even more, saying,

Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.  (Song of Solomon 2:5)

But then she issues a warning to the single women of Jerusalem, and to us all.

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field:  Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.  (2:7)

In other words, love and sex are powerful things.  And to arouse these passions before you’re ready is a dangerous thing.  What does it mean to be ready?

To be ready emotionally and mentally.

To be mature enough to be able to make a commitment that lasts a lifetime.

To understand what that kind of commitment truly means.  That it’s not simply the feelings of the moment but goes far beyond it.

So many people don’t understand this, and that’s why the divorce rate is so high.

It’s why so many sexual relationships break up even before marriage is reached, leaving many brokenhearted.

The woman then recalls her own courtship.  How her lover appeared and asked her out on a date.

You see his passion and longing for her in his words.  (2:10-14)

But even he was aware of the traps that could destroy a relationship, saying,

Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.  (2:15)

The vineyards in this case is their love relationship.  And there are so many foxes that can ruin a vineyard.

In other words, there are many things that can destroy a relationship, including getting too intimate, too soon.

So even in the midst of their strong passions, she tells him,

Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, turn, my lover, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the rugged hills.  (2:17)

In other words, now is not the time to spend the night together.  Leave now, and I will see you tomorrow.

Even so, in her dreams, she longs for him (3:1-4), and she dreams of searching for him, and of her joy in finding him.

But once again she warns us,

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field:  Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.  (3:5)

Sex is beautiful.  It was meant to be so.  And by enjoying it as God intended it has tremendous power for good in a relationship.

But by taking it outside of what God intended, it has power that’s equally destructive, to your relationships, and to you.

How about you?  Are you keeping yourself pure?

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Song of Solomon

Song of Solomon: A love song

Song of Solomon

And so we hit the final book of the Old Testament.  It’s very interesting to me that I ended Proverbs with two posts, “To be a man,” and “To be a woman.”

For in this book, we find what it means to be a couple as God designed us, as God intended.

It was a song written by Solomon talking about the courtship of his wife, their wedding, and their marriage relationship.

(Which wife this is referring to, I don’t know.  I’d like to think it was his first, and this was written while he was still monogamous).

The interesting thing is that this book is written primarily from the perspective of his wife.

There seems to be some time jumps in the first few chapters, and from all appearances, we are starting at the wedding.  From the bride’s very first words, we see her passion for Solomon.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth– for your love is more delightful than wine.  (Song of Solomon 1:2)

God created us as sexual beings.  And the physical relationship between man and woman was something he created to be good and pleasurable.

We are supposed to take delight in the kisses of our spouse.  We are supposed to take delight in each other.

But it’s also important to note that his physique was not the only thing that attracted her to him.  She says,

Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out.  No wonder the maidens love you!  (1:3)

Here she compares his smell with his name.

In other words, he had a sweet-smelling reputation.  He was a man of integrity and honor, and because of that, many were the women that longed for him.

This is something for men to remember in pursuing a wife.

It isn’t enough to work on your physique; you need to work on your character as well.  This matters if she is ever to respect you.  Are you a person worthy of her respect?

In verse 5, we see how she views herself.  She sees herself in healthy way.  She views herself as lovely, as one who is attractive.

Still, she probably suffered the wounds of those who criticized her appearance.

In those days, having fair skin was considered a good thing, but because she was forced to work in the fields as she was growing up, her skin had become darkened by the sun.

(When it says she neglected her own “vineyard,” it’s referring to her body.  Think of it this way:  her body produces “fruits” for her lover to enjoy, as we’ll see in later chapters).

Unfortunately, too many women nowadays don’t see themselves as attractive.  They see all the actresses on TV and get depressed that they can’t compete.

But God created you as you are.  And he created you beautiful.

This woman also came into this relationship with emotional baggage, as her brothers had rejected her and were hard on her.

One wonders about how much support, if any, she got from her parents considering how her brothers abused her.

But in this passage, we see the healing a loving relationship can bring.

Time and again, Solomon affirms his love for her.  That in his eyes, she is beautiful.  (1:9-10)

When she claims in chapter 2, verse 1 that she is simply ordinary in her beauty (a rose of Sharon, and lily of the valley were common ordinary wildflowers), he affirms,

Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens.  (2:2)

In other words, “You may feel like a common lily, but all other women are like thorns to me.”

And because of this love he has for her, she responds with unbridled love of her own.  (1:4, 16)

That’s how love in marriage should be.  It should a love where the couple delights in each other, respects each other, and helps to bring God’s healing to each other.

May you know that kind of love in your marriage as well.