I suppose I could have called this post, “to be a king,” but I don’t think too many kings are reading this blog. Maybe zero?
But there are many men out there, and what King Lemuel’s mother said to him in this passage applies in many ways to men. (In case you’re wondering, no one really knows who Lemuel is.)
This world sometimes has a warped idea of what a man should be.
To many people, a “real man” is someone who is strong and virile, and is good with the ladies. Even in ancient times, you see this kind of thinking, especially among the kings.
King Solomon, of course, took this to an extreme, taking on 700 wives and 300 concubines.
But Lemuel’s mother told him,
O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows, do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings. (Proverbs 31:2-3)
This is not to say that all women are bad. Indeed, in just a few verses, Lemuel’s mother tells him just the kind of woman he ought to pursue.
What she is saying is to not make sex the whole of your world. To make having sex as often and with as many people as possible your life’s pursuit.
For one, it can ruin your health, particularly if you sleep with the wrong woman.
AIDS is still a very big issue, but so are a number of other STDs.
Further, if you pursue someone who is already married, you could also have a jealous husband to deal with, as Solomon pointed out in an earlier proverb. (Proverbs 6:34-35)
But more than that, it can affect your relationship with God, who is to be your first love. Solomon learned this to his own ruin. It says of him in 1 Kings,
As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been…
The LORD became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him. (1 Kings 11:4, 9)
A true man does not pursue women first and foremost. He pursues God. And this Solomon failed to do.
Lemuel’s mother also told him,
It is not for kings, O Lemuel — not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they drink and forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights. (4-5)
In other words, a king has responsibilities to the people under him. And because of that he needs to be sober in order to make sure he can fulfill the duties God has given him.
The same is true with any man. Whether it’s at work, at home, at church, or wherever it may be, we are not to let alcohol control us.
When we do, it causes us to forget all the things God has called us to do, and brings us to ruin. And God will call us to account if we do so.
So the apostle Paul tells us,
Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. (Ephesians 5:18)
In other words, don’t be controlled by alcohol. Let your life be controlled and guided by God’s Spirit.
So in short, what is a real man?
A real man is one who pursues God above all else. And a real man is a person who is controlled and guided by God’s Spirit in all he does.
If you are a man reading this, are you a real man?
If you are a single woman reading this, are you pursuing a real man?
Moment to Moment (Bible blog) 