Tag: children

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1 John

As we mature

1 John

As I read John’s words here to his different readers, it strikes me that there are different stages that we go through in our Christian lives.

First, as children.

John writes,

I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name. (1 John 2:12)

And again,

I write to you, dear children, because you have known the Father. (13c)

I think that when we first become Christians, two things strike us above all things.

First, that God has forgiven us.

So many of us come to God weighted down by our sins. We see what a mess we have made of our lives because of our choices, and in our desperation we turn to God. And John tells us, “Your sins are forgiven.”

I think of the woman who came to Jesus, a woman who had been burdened by her sins, weeping and wetting his feet with her tears. And Jesus said to her gently, “Your sins are forgiven.” (Luke 7:36-50)

That’s the joy that all new Christians know.

Second, we come to know God as Father. It’s a theme that John will come back to later in this letter. (3:1-3)

The thing is, we don’t come to know God first as the awesome other-worldly being that transcends the universe. As the great King of all kings. As someone so far removed from us that we couldn’t possibly draw near to him.

Rather, we come to know him as Father. As someone who is approachable because he truly loves and cares for us. As someone who is never too busy for us, but will stop whatever he is doing when we come to him because he delights in us as his children.

But as we grow as Christians, we don’t remain mere children. We become mature and strong.

So John says,

I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one. (14b)

In other words, as the word of God lives in us, as we get beyond the milk of the gospel and take in the solid meat of the word, and by our constant use of it train ourselves to distinguish good from evil (Hebrews 5:12-14), we overcome the evil one and all his attempts to destroy us.

We learn to recognize the false teaching he throws at us to lead us astray from God. And we learn to overcome the temptations to sin that would destroy us. We will see more of these themes throughout the rest of this letter.

Finally, as we become mature in our faith, we start to see God as he truly is. John writes,

I write to you fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning. (2:13a, 2:14a)

As C.S. Lewis put it, the more we grow, the bigger God becomes to us. Not because he actually grows bigger. But because we see him more clearly as he truly is.

We see that he is not just our loving Father, but the creator of all things and ruler of the universe. That he is the eternal one, with no beginning or end. And we bow down at awe of him.

But we will bow, not just because of his greatness. But because of the fact that as awesome as he is, he still loves us and calls us his children.

Because at the end of the day, no matter how much we may grow and mature as Christians, we will never outgrow our Father or our need to see him as such.

So each day, let us grow in the grace and knowledge of him who loves us and calls us his children.

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Colossians

Living as Christ’s representatives: What does it mean?

Representative of Christ

I love the way the NLT translates verse 17.

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:17)

Whenever we do something in the “name of someone,” we do act as their representative, but I had never seen that verse in that light before. And it seems to flow over into the following verses.

Wives, as representatives of Christ to your husband, respect your husband and submit to his leadership in your home. (3:18)

Husbands, as representatives of Christ, love your wife, and don’t be harsh with them. (3:19)

Children, as representatives of Christ, obey your parents. (3:20)

Fathers, as representatives of Christ, don’t embitter your children, lest they become discouraged. (3:21)

Slaves, as representatives of Christ, obey your masters in everything and not just when they’re looking, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord. (3:22-25)

(We, of course, don’t have slaves nowadays, but we could equally say these things of any working person.)

Masters, as representatives of Christ, treat your slaves (or in our day, employees) fairly because you know you have a Master in heaven. (4:1)

In other words, in all our relationships, remember who you’re representing. You’re representing Jesus Christ. To your husband, to your wife, to your parents, to your children, to your boss, and to your employees.

When you disrespect your husband as head of the family, what kind of representative are you being?

When you treat your wife harshly, what kind of representative are you being?

When you disobey your parents, what kind of representative are you being?

When you embitter your children, what kind of representative are you being?

When you work half-heartedly, what kind of representative are you being?

When you treat your employees unfairly, what kind of representative are you being?

In all your relationships, with friends, neighbors, coworkers, brothers and sisters in Christ, what kind of representative of Jesus Christ are you being?

Can others see him in you? Or do they only see you?

What kind of representative of Christ are you?

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Ephesians

Following our Father’s example

Ephesians

In this chapter, we see an extension of Paul’s teaching on our relationship with God and how it shows in our relationships with each other.

In chapter 5, we see that just as the church submits to Christ as her husband, a wife is to submit to her husband.

And just as Christ loves the church and treats it as part of himself, so a husband is to love his wife and treat her as part of himself, for God has joined them together as one.

Here in chapter 6, we see the parent-child relationship we have with God. Paul says,

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1)

Why is it right?

Because God has given the children to their parents as a trust. He has given them responsibility over their children for that time of growing up and maturing.

So it’s only right that children obey, even if they don’t always understand all their parents tell them to do.

It’s also right because it’s a picture of our relationship to God.

He is our Father. And unlike our earthly fathers and mothers, he truly does know what is best.

And so even when we don’t always understand why God tells us to do certain things, we should obey. For only in doing so, will we find true blessing.

That’s why Paul says,

“Honor your father and mother” — which is the first commandment with a promise — “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:2-3)

A child’s obedience to their parents is to be a picture to them of the blessing that comes when we are obedient to God.

Unfortunately, not all parent-child relationships are a good picture of that.

Why? Because parents fail to show what God is truly like in their actions. They don’t discipline their children. Or just as bad, they discipline them too harshly.

Some parents try to motivate their children by never praising them and always criticizing them.

Other parents fail to show sympathy for their children in their troubles and may instead mock them.

These things fracture their relationship with their children and warp their view of God as their Father.

And so Paul tells parents,

“Fathers, do not exasperate (or embitter — Colossians 3:21) your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

Just as our Father in heaven loves and raises us, so we are to follow our Father’s example and love and raise our children.

Two questions to close.

How well did your parents portray God to you in how they raised you?

If they didn’t do so well, then remember to take your eyes off of them, and put your eyes fully on Him. Because no matter how badly your parents failed you, God never will.

How well are you portraying God to your children? Do they see God in you?

I know I fail too often. And so my prayer is that God will continue to change me, so that my daughter can see God in me.

What kind of parent are you?

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Galatians

The wonder of adoption

God's family

It’s really amazing to me that God would actually adopt us into his family.

He could have accepted us as “pets.”

He could have recognized our status as people, and yet kept us at a distance as acquaintances.

He could have brought us into his household as mere servants or slaves.

He could have even accepted us as friends.

But he did more. He adopted us into his family and now recognizes us as his children.

Paul tells us,

You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. (Galatians 3:26-27)

He says here that we are all sons of God through faith in Christ.

What he is saying here must have stunned some of his original listeners. Because back in those days, only literal sons had the right of inheritance.

But he makes it clear that all Christians, whether male or female, now have that right that once only belonged exclusively to the sons. Not only that, Paul said,

There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. (Galatians 3:28)

Previously, the Jews considered all non-Jews outsiders. More, they looked down on women. And of course, being a slave was never considered a good thing.

But Paul says that in God’s eyes, all who belong to Christ now belong to him and he recognizes us all as his children. All of us have been clothed with Christ’s royal robes of righteousness and are now identified with him.

In case we didn’t quite get his point, he then draws an analogy between us and children in those days.

In those days, a child was no different from a slave practically. That is to say, he had no true access to his inheritance even though he was an heir to it.

Rather, he was put under guardians or trustees and he remained under their authority until the day his father formally recognized him as his son and heir. (Galatians 4:1-2)

In the same way, before we were adopted as God’s children, we were like slaves. We were put under the guardianship of the law and had no right to any heavenly inheritance.

We were told, “Do this, and do that,” by the law, but while it generally guided us in the right direction, we could never keep it fully and as a result, had no rights as God’s heirs. (Galatians 4:3)

But that all changed the day God formally adopted us as his children and made us his heirs.

The process started when he sent his Son to purchase (or redeem) us as his own through Christ’s death on the cross. And now when we put our faith in him, he formally adopts us as his children. (Galatians 4:4-5)

Not only that, he gives us his Spirit of his Son who cries out from within our hearts, “Abba, Father.”

In other words, God in Trinity cries out this new relationship we have with him. A relationship not of a beloved pet, or an acquaintance, or a slave or a servant, or even a friend, but as a son and daughter of the King.

So Paul concludes,

So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir. (Galatians 4:7)

How do you see yourself? How do you see God? Do you see him as your Father and yourself as his beloved child and heir?

He sees us in that way. It’s time that we see things the same way He does.

So don’t ever put yourself down as worthless or unworthy. You are a child of the King. Let’s start living that way.

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Romans

Led into a whole new relationship

I think that as Paul wrote this, he probably looked back at his words on Romans 6 and felt he needed to make some clarification.

In Romans 6, he talked about how we used to be slaves to sin, but now we are slaves to God.

It seems a strange concept to be a slave to God. While on one hand, it does carry the idea that we serve God and are wholly his, which I think was Paul’s point, it nevertheless also carries the idea of no freedom and fear of punishment.

And so I think Paul seeks to clear up those possible misconceptions in these verses. He says,

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “‘Abba,’ Father.”

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.

Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. (Romans 8:15-17)

In other words, as the Spirit leads you, he’s not a cruel taskmaster that brutalizes you for your failures and mistakes.

He’s not someone that insists that we are no good, and totally unacceptable to God.

Instead, when we are discouraged because of our failures, and feel, like the prodigal son did, that there’s no way we can still call God “Father,” the Spirit whispers to us.

“Hey! Listen to me! You are still God’s child and he still loves you. It’s okay for you to call him, ‘Father.’ It warms his heart to hear you call him that.”

And as we go through suffering, the Spirit reminds us that there is hope for the future. That we are God’s heirs, and that our suffering will not last forever.

In short, we are much more than mere slaves of God. We are his beloved children. May we never forget that.

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Mark Mark 9 Matthew Matthew 18

How God sees our children

The gospels

In his discourse on greatness in the kingdom of heaven, Jesus also makes it very clear how God feels about children.

First, he gives us a warning. “Don’t do things that would cause a child to sin.”

If that isn’t clear enough, he tells us,

But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come! (Matthew 18:6-7)

He then goes on to say you’d be better off to maim yourself than to do something that would cause a child to sin.

Why is Jesus so vehement about this? Because children are impressionable. They learn from what they see us do.

If they see us losing our temper all the time, that’s what they’ll do.

If they see us taking our spouse for granted, they will learn to do the same when they get married.

And if we abuse them, they will tend to abuse their children when they become parents.

So be careful how you act around your children, because God will hold you accountable for it.

He also warns us, however,

See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. (Matthew 18:10)

God cares so much about children, that he assigns angels to them to watch over them. And if God so cares about them, how can we dare see them as any less valuable. To push them aside as unimportant or insignificant. To see them as anything less than the treasures God has entrusted us with.

He then compares them to sheep that are lost, and how God will do anything to save them. He concludes by saying,

In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost. (Matthew 18:14)

A couple things here. I do believe there is an age of accountability. That there is a point when a child will be held responsible for their sin.

What that age is, I don’t know. My guess is that it would depend on the child. Whenever they become aware of their sin, and that it’s really wrong, that’s when they will be held accountable for it.

Second, just because it says that the Father is not willing that any of the little ones be lost does not mean that they cannot be lost.

It says in 2 Peter 3:9 that God is not willing that any should perish but that all would repent. But in that same passage, Peter makes clear that people will perish if they don’t repent. And so will children if they willfully reject God in their lives.

So let us treasure our children. Let us value them as God does. And let us preach the gospel clearly to them so that they may be saved too.

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Proverbs

Disciplining our children

We’ve often heard the proverb, “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” This isn’t a direct quote from the Bible, but the idea is certainly repeated fairly often.

In Proverbs 13:24, it says,

He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Sometimes, people say, “I love my child too much. I can’t punish them when they do something wrong. It kills me to see the pain they go through when I punish them.”

But what Solomon makes very clear is that it’s the person who hates their child who refuses to discipline them. Why?

We see the answer in his other proverbs.

Discipline your son, for in that there is hope;
do not be a willing party to his death. (Proverbs 19:18)

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15)

Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.

Punish him with the rod
and save his soul from death. (Proverbs 23:13–14)

The rod of correction imparts wisdom,
but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. (Proverbs 29:15)

In short, children don’t know everything. And they will do foolish things that will not only hurt others, but hurt themselves as well.

Not only will they do things that can hurt them, they’ll do things that can also kill them.

All you have to do to see the truth of that is think about what could happen if you don’t train your child not to run out onto the street.

If you have a child trained to respond immediately when you say, “Stop,” it can save their life if a car is about to hit them.

If, on the other hand, they have never learned to obey their parents’ voice, they’ll continue out onto the street, and it will cost them their life.

Punishing your child can be painful, both for them and for us. I don’t like disciplining our daughter. But I do it for her good.

I’m not saying you have to spank your child, although I’m not against it.

In our house, we use a time-out system. We used it quite a bit when my daughter was 2 and 3 years old. Now, she’s a lot better about obeying us, and we haven’t had to use it in quite some time.

Hopefully, we won’t have to ever use it again, although I’m not counting on it.

How about you? Do you love your children enough to discipline them?

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Psalms

The limits of our own efforts

Psalms

Psalm 127 was written by Solomon, but it reminds me of a later time in Israel’s history when Nehemiah was trying to rebuild the walls.

Solomon wrote,

Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain. (Psalm 127:1)

Nehemiah made his plans. When opposition came, he came up with strategies to deal with them. But ultimately, had God not been with them, everything would have fallen apart.

There is a balance between doing our part and letting God do his. We can’t expect God’s blessing if we just sit and do nothing.

On the other hand, all our efforts are in vain if God is not an integral part of what we’re doing.

Too often, we say to God, “This is what we’re going to do. Please bless it,” when what we should be praying is, “Lord, what would you have us do? How should we proceed?”

When you look at Nehemiah’s life, he constantly bathed all he did in prayer. We should too.

Solomon goes on to say,

In vain you rise early and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves. (2)

One problem with many people is that they make work the center of their lives, to the neglect of their family and to their health.

Of course, work is important, but we should make sure we keep our priorities straight. That we get enough sleep, and that we’re eating healthily. And that we also spend time with our families.

For as Solomon said,

Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him. (3)

If our jobs don’t allow these things, we should be praying for a new job.

But in everything, let’s put God at the center. For if he is, nothing we do will be in vain. If he isn’t, everything we do is in vain.