Tag: divorce

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Matthew Devotionals

The standard we follow

Matthew

We live in a world now where things that were once common sense are now openly questioned. More, you are condemned if you dare to question what the world now believes.

For example, according to the world’s standard, the ideas of “male” and “female” are just a social construct.

According to the world, these ideas of “male” and “female” have no objective basis in reality. As a result, we can define “male” and “female” however we want to.

People also are now questioning what marriage is. It used to be assumed by almost all that marriage is between one man and one woman. This is no longer the case.

But we do not follow the world’s standards. We follow Jesus’. What did Jesus say?

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female, and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?” (Matthew 19:3-5)

According to Jesus, how did he create us? As male and female. Gender is not something that humans thought up. It is something God created.

According to Jesus, what is marriage? It is a man leaving his father (male) and mother (female) and being joined to his wife (female).

And there is no arguing with Jesus. He will not compromise his standards. We see that when the disciples tried to argue about his standard for marriage, that it was to be for life. They said,

If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry. (10)

Jesus’ answer?

Not everyone can accept this saying. (11)

When he says, “this saying,” Jesus is not talking about his teaching on marriage. He’s talking about about the idea that it’s better not to marry.

And he says, “Not everyone can be happy living single. Some choose to be single so they can serve God’s kingdom better. If they’re happy with being single, great!

“Others, because of physical problems, can’t get married.

“But whatever their situation, if they can accept what you said, and think it’s better to be single, that’s fine. But if they want to get married, they need to accept what I have taught. There is no middle ground.”

Those are hard words. And I believe Jesus has great compassion for those who love him and yet struggle with his words.

He has compassion for those who give up on the idea of marriage because they grew up in broken families and they worry that if they get married, it won’t go well.

He has compassion for those who struggle with homosexual feelings and feel they can’t get married as a result.

He has compassion on those who struggle with their gender identity.

And so as Christians, we too are to have great compassion on those who struggle in these ways.

But the answer is not to change Jesus’ standards. We are to hold to the standards that he has taught.

The struggles we have are not because his standards are wrong. The struggles we have are because we are people broken by sin.

The good news is that for those who belong to Christ, these struggles will not last forever. For as John said,

Dear friends, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet been revealed.

We know that when he appears, we will be like him because we will see him as he is. (1 John 3:2)

So let us never compromise our Lord’s standards. Rather, holding to the future hope we have, let us purify ourselves just as Jesus is pure. (1 John 3:3)

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1 Corinthians

When it’s wise to put off marriage. When it’s wise not to.

1 Corinthians

For a variety of reasons, many people not only in Japan, but in America as well are putting off marriage until their late 20s and into their 30s.

In some ways, that’s probably a good thing. There was no way I was ready for marriage at age 19 or 20 as some of my friends were when they got married.

(I must admit, I was a bit surprised and perhaps a bit skeptical at the time, but they remain happily married to this day).

But everyone is different, and what is perfectly fine for some people is not for others. And that’s what Paul points out here in this passage.

Again, one of the main questions some Corinthian couples had here was the issue of whether it was appropriate for them to get married or whether it was better to put it off, in some cases permanently.

And Paul gives us three things that we should think about when we’re considering whether to get married or to put it off.

I think one thing to consider is your attitude toward marriage. Namely, are you going into it totally committed to making it work, or are you going into it already planning an out?

In other words, are you thinking, “Well, if things don’t work out, I can always get divorced.”

If in the back of your mind you are not committed to marriage and are already leaving the back door open, you shouldn’t get married.

Why? Because Jesus said it was to be permanent.

Paul wrote,

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.

But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

This was the application that Paul drew from Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 19:3-12.

Even Jesus’ disciples were shocked by it at the time, saying, “If that’s the case, it’s better not to get married.”

And if that’s the attitude you have, don’t get married. Put it off until your attitude changes. And if it never changes, then it’s best for you to never get married.

Another factor to consider is your circumstances. Because of the Corinthians’ “present crisis,” Paul advised them to put it off. He said,

But those who marry [in these less than ideal circumstances] will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Paul was probably talking about the circumstances of persecution of the church, as I mentioned before.

But I think we can draw in a larger principle. There are circumstances in which it would probably be best to put off marriage.

One might be finances. If you are not financially prepared for marriage, it will be very tough, and it is in fact the reason for many divorces in society today.

Another reason might be your own emotional baggage that you have to deal with.

Perhaps you were abused by your father or by previous boyfriends. That kind of thing can have a huge effect on your relationship with your spouse. And in that kind of situation it is best to put it off until you resolve those issues.

But whatever your situation, Paul gives us another consideration to weigh.

Struggling with sexual temptation may seem to be a bad reason to get married, and certainly it’s not the best reason to get married, but it is also a very real issue for many people.

And Paul writes,

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.

But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Corinthians 7:8-9)

Paul is saying here, “If you’re feeling intense sexual desire for your boyfriend or girlfriend and you don’t feel that you can control it, then get married, even if the circumstances don’t seem ideal.”

That said, Paul again says if you can at all control your desires for a time, it’s better to put things off until you get your other issues resolved. By getting married too soon can put a strain on you and your marriage.

But by God’s grace, if you are committed to your partner with no back doors, he can bring you through whatever marital struggles you go through.

So the really big question you need to ask yourself before getting married is this: Are you willing to commit yourself to your spouse with no back doors?

Categories
1 Corinthians

Marriage and divorce

1 Corinthians

It’s kind of hard to decide how to parse this passage because it keeps jumping between subjects. But I thought since I talked about marriage last time, I’d keep with that topic here.

And here, Paul re-emphasizes Christ’s ideal for marriage. He says,

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.

But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

Here, Paul is drawing from Jesus’ own words when talking to the Pharisees. Jesus said to them,

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6)

And again,

Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. (Matthew 19:8-9)

I won’t get into details concerning Jesus’ words here because I’ve already done that here and the two succeeding blogs.

But the point Paul is making here is that marriage was intended to be permanent, and that’s how we ought to view it. He says again in verse 39,

A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. (1 Corinthians 7:39)

Which of course goes both ways. A husband is also bound to his wife as long as she lives. And so as much as it depends on us, we need to work to keep our marriage alive.

But what if it doesn’t depend on us? Paul addresses that later in the chapter.

To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.

And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Corinthians 7:12-16)

This is pretty straightforward, so I’ll just make a few comments here.

First, when Paul says, “I, not the Lord,” I don’t think he’s saying his words aren’t authoritative.

What he’s saying is that Jesus never specifically spoke about this situation where an unbelieving spouse desires to leave the believing spouse. So Paul says, “Since Jesus didn’t address that situation, here’s what I as his apostle, say to you.”

And as an apostle, his words on this topic are authoritative. If an unbelieving spouse desires to leave you, let them leave. God will not hold you responsible for that.

Second, just because your spouse isn’t a believer doesn’t mean that you should automatically leave them. By staying with them, God’s hand is on your family, and it gives him more room to work in the life of your spouse and your children, because God can work through you.

“Sanctified” here doesn’t mean saved, but “set apart.” And I think when any family has a believer in it, God takes special notice of that family to work in their lives.

Finally, notice that Paul emphasizes in verse 39 that if you’re a single Christian, you should only be marrying a Christian. He speaks specifically to widows here, but it only makes sense that he is speaking to all singles. You should only marry a person that belongs to the Lord.

Sometimes people think, well, if I marry a non-Christian, I can witness to them and they may be saved. But Paul tells the believer to let an unbelieving spouse go if the unbeliever wishes to leave. Why?

How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Corinthians 7:16)

Answer: we don’t. There are no guarantees. And if you marry an unbeliever, I have seen many cases where the believer ends up miserable.

Marriage is tough enough when believers are married. But when two people have fundamental differences in their faith, it can cause even more hardship. Because of that, it’s best to avoid that kind of relationship from the beginning.

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Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 19

Jesus on marriage and divorce: When our spouse’s heart is hardened

The gospels

I’ve mentioned before our need as a husband or wife to search our hearts. To see if there is any way in which we have hardened our hearts to God, or to our spouse.

This is important for any marriage, whether we think it’s healthy or not. Because if your heart is starting to harden to God or to your spouse, your marriage is in trouble, or very soon will be.

But what happens if our spouse’s heart has hardened against us? What do we do?

It’s a hard issue to deal with. And there are only two such cases that are specifically dealt with in scripture.

One is in the case where our partner is involved in adultery. And not only involved in adultery but is completely unrepentant.

Jesus specifically says in the Matthew passage, that divorcing that person and marrying another would not be considered adultery in the eyes of God.

Why is that?

Probably, because in the eyes of God, the other person has hardened their heart to the point that the bond has been completely broken. Your partner has become “one” with another.

The same can be said if you have been divorced, and your ex-partner has since remarried. In these cases, you are no longer bound to that person.

How about a one-time affair that your partner has repented of? That is less clear.

Trust broken at that level is difficult to restore. Not impossible, but very difficult.

That said, if your partner has repented, I do believe that it is God’s will that you stay with your spouse.

It won’t be easy. And you’ll definitely need the support of others on top of the grace of God. It will take time, probably much time to restore the trust. But it can be done.

And if your heart and the heart of your spouse is softened to Him, He can bring healing to your heart and to your marriage.

The apostle Paul brings up another situation in 1 Corinthians 7. Namely, abandonment. He says if your spouse is a non-believer, and they choose to walk away from you, you are not bound to stay married to that person.

These are the only reasons that Jesus and the apostles give for permitting divorce.

Many people today, however, wonder about domestic violence. Is divorce permissible in that situation? Jesus and the apostles were silent on the issue.

I don’t know why. It was a problem even in those days. Wives couldn’t divorce their husbands, but they could plead with the judges to force their husband to divorce them in cases of domestic abuse.

Because the Bible doesn’t address domestic violence, there are many pastors that think domestic violence is not a reason for divorce.

Here’s what I can say for sure: If you are in danger from your spouse, if they are abusing you and they refuse to get help, you are not bound in that situation to keep living with that person. Protect yourself and your children.

I think Jesus’ words to the Pharisees in Matthew 12:7 are very apropos here:

If you had known what this means, I desire mercy and not sacrifice, you would not have condemned the innocent. (Matthew 12:7)

I don’t think God requires the beating of and even killing of wives on the altar of preserving a marriage.

So does that mean divorce is okay in cases of domestic violence? I don’t know if that’s the right question.

So what is the right question?

Jesus said that in the days of Moses, God allowed for divorce because of the hardness of people’s hearts.

Question: Should those words ever describe the heart of a Christian?

No.

So in my opinion, God permits divorce only if your spouse’s heart is so hard, that to continue the marriage is no longer possible.

What does that mean for you if you’re contemplating divorce?

Whatever situation you may be facing, adultery, abandonment, domestic violence, or whatever else it may be, before you make any decision, search your heart.

And again, ask, “Is there any way in which I have hardened my heart to my spouse or to God?”

That is the most important question.

As long as the answer to that question is yes, I think you should put off ideas of divorce. Divorce should never be because of the hardness of your heart.

But in cases where you have totally opened your heart to God and to your spouse, and yet your spouse has completely hardened their heart to you and demands a divorce, or your life is at risk because of that person’s hardness of heart, I think divorce is permissible.

God doesn’t command it, but he understands, and it is permissible.

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Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 19

Jesus on marriage and divorce: When our hearts are hardened

The gospels

It’s kind of interesting looking at the gospels and trying to harmonize them sometimes. I don’t know if I’m harmonizing Matthew and Mark well here, but it’s amusing to look at these passages this way.

Pharisees: “Is it lawful to divorce your wife for any reason?”

Jesus: “Don’t you know that when husband and wife get married, the two become one? What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Pharisees: “Why then did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

Jesus: “Excuse me? What did Moses command you? He commanded you, ‘Thou shalt divorce your wife?'”

Pharisees: “Well, no. But he did permit a man to divorce his wife.”

Jesus: “That’s right. He permitted it, not commanded it. And the only reason he permitted it was because your hearts were hard. But it was not that way from the beginning.”

All humor aside, the issue is very serious. And in this passage, Jesus lays out why divorce is so common in our day and age. People harden their hearts against God, and they harden their hearts against their spouse.

How do people harden their hearts against God?

First, they harden their hearts against his teaching against marriage. That it is to be for life. That you are to be faithful to your spouse. That husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. That wives are to submit to their husband as the church does to Christ.

Instead, they make all kinds of excuses as to why it’s impossible for them to do so.

“Well, she doesn’t submit to me, so why should I show that kind of love to her?”

“Well he doesn’t show love to me, so why should I submit to him?”

“You just never know about marriage. Maybe he really isn’t the one, so it’s best to keep your options open in case it doesn’t work out.”

Or during their arguments, God starts speaking to one or both of them saying, “Let it go. Give in. It’s not worth fighting about.”

But in their pride or anger, they refuse to heed his voice.

How do people harden their hearts against their spouses? They fail to listen to each other.

When husbands hear their wives complain they are working too much, they dismiss it without thought, saying, “But we need the money.”

When husbands complain about a lack of intimacy, the wives dismiss it because they are “too tired.”

When wives share with their husbands how their actions or words were hurtful, husbands dismiss their wives as being too sensitive.

This list could go on and on.

The end result? Divorce.

So many people wonder why their marriages fail. Some try two or three times, or even more, to get things right, and never do.

The reason? They’ve never dealt with their heart. They’ve never learned to soften their hearts to God’s voice and to their spouses.

Are you single? Are you seeking a spouse? Then start by searching your heart.

When God speaks to you about your actions now, when he convicts your heart about the way you live, are you listening?

Because when you get married, he will start speaking to you about how you treat your spouse.

But if you’re hardening your heart to God now when he speaks, you’ll take that attitude into your marriage, and if you do, your marriage won’t last long.

Are you married? Are you frustrated by your spouse? Start by taking your eyes off of them, and put them on you.

How have you hardened your heart to your spouse? Let God speak to your heart about the things that you need to do.

Are you divorced and looking for another spouse? Before you do, ask yourself, how did I harden my spouse in the past? How did I harden my heart to God?

Because until you address these issues, you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes you committed before.

And the first question you need to ask yourself is, “Am I hardening myself to God and my ex-spouse by not working to reconcile with my ex-spouse?”

What is the state of your heart?

Categories
Mark Mark 10 Matthew Matthew 19

Jesus on marriage and divorce: Why divorce hurts so much

The gospels

Divorce is one of those touchy topics that is difficult to deal with, if only because of the emotions and hurt that is often involved.

But considering the social climate we’re in, in which marriages fall apart at such a high rate, I think that it is vital for us to take a serious look at what Jesus said about marriage and divorce.

The Pharisees came up to Jesus, asking,

Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason? (Matthew 19:3)

This was a hot topic of the time, much as it is today. And for some of the Pharisees, they did pretty much believe that it was lawful to get divorced for any reason.

For others, they held a much stricter view that there had to be some kind of sexual sin involved for a divorce to be lawful.

The truth is, many of the Pharisees did get divorced, and as I mentioned before, often times, it was with the intent of marrying another.

They had married, only to meet another woman they desired, but in order to “avoid” the sin of adultery, they simply divorced their wife and married the other woman.

I believe it was this situation that Jesus was specifically addressing in the Sermon on the Mount, and in these passages here.

He was telling the Pharisees and us, “Even if you don’t technically commit adultery by sleeping with a woman you’re not married to, if you divorce your wife because you’ve found another woman, you are still committing adultery in the eyes of God, whether you marry that second woman or not.”

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

In answer to the Pharisees’ question, Jesus replied,

Haven’t you read…that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Matthew 19:4-6)

Jesus totally bypassed the arguments of the “experts” of the day, and went straight to scripture.

And by doing so, he tells us exactly what marriage was supposed to be: a union between a man and a woman where they are no longer two separate entities, but one. The two are “glued” together and become one flesh.

Sometimes people wonder why God says sex is only to be between husband and wife.

The main reason is that there is a joining that occurs during the sexual act. Not just a physical joining, but an emotional joining as well. It’s a joining in which the two are glued together as one.

Have you ever used super glue, and gotten your fingers stuck together? What happens if you forcibly try to pull them apart. Your skin rips off.

Divorce is the same. There is no clean break. Because of the oneness in body and emotion that occurred, it causes a tearing in the soul when two people divorce.

The same is true when two people become sexually intimate outside of marriage. When the relationship breaks up, there is a tearing of soul that occurs because of the oneness that was shared between them.

And that tearing becomes much more painful the longer the relationship goes on. All that they share, not just sexually, but all the experiences they go through together, both good and bad, pull a couple closer together and make them one.

Jesus is telling us the reason divorce is so bad is because it tears apart a part of our soul. What was meant to be one forever, a oneness in body, in heart, in soul, is torn apart.

And so he tells us, “What God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Am I saying there can be no healing from divorce? That there can be no forgiveness? No. But I think we need to understand two things.

First, marriage was meant to be forever. It was how God designed it.

And second, when we get away from God’s design, pain is inevitable.

Why then do so many people get divorced? We’ll get into that in the next blog.

Categories
Malachi

Acting treacherously against your spouse

Broken heart

We come to a pretty painful topic for many people. Around 50% of marriages, even among Christians sadly, end in divorce. The percentage is much lower in Japan, where I live, but even here, the total is rising.

In this passage, God addresses two things. First, he said,

Have we not all one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another?

Judah has broken faith. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the LORD loves, by marrying the daughter of a foreign god. (Malachi 2:10–11)

We mentioned before in Ezra and Nehemiah that even the leaders and priests in Israel had started to intermarry with the people around them.

Why was this wrong? Basically because these foreigners were leading Israel into idol worship, which was what caused their exile in the first place.

Nehemiah, when he saw this, sharply rebuked the people saying,

Was it not because of marriages like these that Solomon king of Israel sinned?

Among the many nations there was no king like him. He was loved by his God, and God made him king over all Israel, but even he was led into sin by foreign women. (Nehemiah 13:26)

What was Nehemiah’s point?

Even the strongest believer in God can be led into becoming unfaithful by an unbelieving spouse.

That’s why it’s very dangerous for a Christian to marry someone who is not.

And it was for that reason that God strictly forbade his people from marrying idol-worshippers.

But there was something even worse about these marriages. Malachi wrote,

Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’s altar with tears.

You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?”

It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. (Malachi 2:13–14)

The people were wondering why God seemed against them. Why he didn’t seem to accept with pleasure what they offered him. And God makes it very clear.

Not only did they marry these idol-worshippers, but they had broken faith with the women they had married in order to do so.

In doing so, they had broken faith with God since they had made their vows before him. And so God told them that he was standing as a witness against them.

He then reminded them that it was he who had started the institution of marriage and that when they got married, it was he who made them one flesh.

So not only did they belong to each other, they belonged to him. And he made them one so that when they had children, they would grow up in godly families and learn to have a strong relationship with God like their parents.

Divorce has a terrible effect on children. And many times it not only warps a child’s view of marriage, it also warps the child’s view on God as well.

God reveals himself as our loving Father, but so many children of divorced parents can’t relate to that because they rarely see their father. They think God is like their earthly father. Unfaithful to his promises and never there when you need him.

God then makes crystal clear his feelings on divorce.

“I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty. (Malachi 2:16)

God hates divorce. He hates adultery. He hates domestic violence. He hates anything that breaks faith with our spouse.

I find it interesting here that he focuses on the men more than the women.

Certainly, part of the reason was that in those days, it was the men who had the power to divorce their spouse, not the women.

But I think there’s another reason. God puts primary responsibility of keeping the marriage strong on the husband. We see this throughout scripture. Peter himself said,

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7)

Husbands were divorcing and abusing their physically weaker partners in Malachi, and God condemned them for it.

How about you? Are you in any way acting treacherously against your wife? Are you in any way acting treacherously against your husband?

Let us be faithful not only to our partner, but to the God who joined us together.

Categories
Ezra

Marrying ourselves to the world

Weeping in rain

This is one of the more difficult passages in the Bible.

God says that he hates divorce, and yet Ezra basically commands those who had taken foreign wives to divorce them.

In some cases, they were to even send away the children that were born to those marriages.

Why did Ezra do this?

I think the main thing to note is that based on the commands God had given the people, these marriages were not lawful.

God had specifically told the people not to intermarry with the people from Canaan (Exodus 34:15–16; Deuteronomy 7:1–6).

Why? Because they were doing atrocious things that God did not want his people to get involved with. Child sacrifice and prostitution were two examples of this.

So in God’s eyes, these were not legitimate marriages.

The book of Malachi confirms this idea.

It’s not certain when Malachi was written, but it was probably written sometime during the time of Ezra and Nehemiah.

In Malachi, God said this:

Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the Lord loves by marrying women who worship a foreign god. (Malachi 2:11)

Right after saying this, Malachi lights into those who divorced their wives.

Some believe that what was happening was that the Jews were divorcing their wives in order to marry these idol-worshipping women.

If this is so, it makes the marriages even more illegitimate. In short, it was adultery in the eyes of God.

The result of all this?

Basically, by marrying these idol-worshippers, the Jews were falling into the same habits that caused their exile (Ezra 9:1–2).

You can understand then why Ezra immediately fell into mourning, and what he meant in his prayer of repentance on behalf of the people.

He prayed,

What has happened to us is a result of our evil deeds and our great guilt, and yet, our God, you have punished us less than our sins deserved and have given us a remnant like this.

Shall we then break your commands again and intermarry with the peoples who commit such detestable practices?

Would you not be angry enough with us to destroy us, leaving us no remnant or survivor?

Lord, the God of Israel, you are righteous! We are left this day as a remnant.

Here we are before you in our guilt, though because of it not one of us can stand in your presence. (Ezra 9:13–15)

And so in chapter 10, Ezra called for a purging in Israel.

All those who had taken idol-worshipping women as their wives were to send them and their children away.

You see a powerful picture of the misery of the situation as the people wept in the rain repenting before God in chapter 10.

What can we get from this?

First, I am NOT saying that if you are married to a non-Christian, you should divorce them.

Unlike the Jews, we are no longer living under Mosaic law. Instead we are living under the new covenant of grace.

And the apostle Paul clearly teaches us that as long as our unsaved spouse is willing to live with us, we are not to seek to leave them.

Rather we should pray that they too may be saved. (1 Corinthians 7:12–16)

But there is a principle that we need to be aware of.

When we marry ourselves to the things of this world, it pulls us away from God.

Sometimes these things look beautiful, just as these foreign women looked beautiful to the Jewish men. But when we attach ourselves to them, they pull our hearts away from God.

For some people, they marry themselves to money. They make money their top priority in life.

Others marry themselves to possessions.

Others to power.

And of course, some set aside their relationship with God in order to pursue a romantic relationship with a non-Christian.

But by doing these things, we commit adultery against God.

We’re essentially saying to God, “These things are more important to me than you.”

How about you? Are you in love with the things of this world? What is it doing to your relationship with God?

Let us purge from our lives all that would pull us away from a relationship with him.