Tag: family

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1 Timothy

Practicing our faith within our homes

1 Timothy

I suppose our faith gets no more practical than within our homes.

We can hide our true faces from our pastors and fellow church members, but we can’t hide them from our family. They see us as we really are. And what we are at home shows what we truly are in our hearts.

I think that’s one thing Paul has in mind as he wrote these instructions to Timothy concerning the care of widows.

The church in those days took care of widows within their congregation (We see this in Acts 6, for example).

And Paul tells Timothy,

Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. (1 Timothy 5:3)

But then he adds,

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. (4)

The ESV puts it,

…let them first learn to show godliness to their own household.

Godliness is not something we are to merely have when we leave our homes, but something we should have within them.

And godliness should not just be shown to people outside our families, but it should be shown especially to people within them.

Paul emphasizes that point in verse 8.

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (8)

Paul is specifically talking here about providing the material needs of our family members.

But godliness doesn’t stop there. It continues in how we treat each other day to day, in our patience, kindness, and love for one another.

The godliness we have also shows in the forgiveness and generosity we extend toward one another.

In short, godliness should show in how we treat our family. For if we are unable to show these things to our family, what kind of faith do we really have?

This is not always easy. As I said yesterday, we can choose our friends, but we can’t choose our relatives.

And family can grate on us in ways friends can’t because there are natural boundaries between friends, namely, we usually live apart from each other. The boundaries are much thinner with family because we actually live with them.

Plus there are obligations we have to family that we don’t have to friends.

But if we are to become godly, it needs to start with how we treat our family, for that is the test of true godliness.

How godly are you?

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1 Timothy

Our attitudes towards those in the church

1 Timothy

As a pastor, Timothy had to deal with people from a variety of ages, people older than him, people who were his peers, and people who were younger than him.

And the thing that Paul reminds him here is, “You are not Lord over these people. These are family members. Treat them as such.”

He said,

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father.

Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. (1 Timothy 5:1-2)

There were times when Timothy would have to confront men that were older than him.

Paul is not saying here that he should never rebuke his elders. Rather, he was to refrain from doing so harshly. To refrain from unduly upbraiding them or humiliating them.

Paul said, “Think of these men as your own father, as people deserving of respect.”

He said the same of older women, that Timothy was to treat them as if they were his own mother. He was to deal with them gently and with all honor and respect.

For the younger men, he was not to lord himself over them either, but rather to treat them as brothers.

And for the younger women, he was to be careful how he dealt with them as well.

There would probably be women that would be attracted to a godly man like Timothy. And he was to be careful to treat them as he would his own sisters, not abusing his position as pastor in any way.

It is important, though, not just for pastors to remember all this. But as members of the church, we are to think the same way. To remember that we are all one family in God.

As has often been pointed out, you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your relatives. And in Christ, we are all family.

So don’t look down on your family members or treat them as dirt. Remember to treat each other with respect, with all purity, and above all, with love.

How are you treating your family members?

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Matthew Matthew 10

Jesus: A sword that divides?

Matthew

Jesus concludes his discourse on persecution by saying something a bit disturbing.

Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.

For I have come to turn “a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law — a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.” (Matthew 10:34-36)

Jesus is called the Prince of Peace. How can he then say that he didn’t come to bring peace, but a sword that would turn even a person’s own family against him (or her)?

The thing to remember is that while Jesus is the Prince of Peace, that peace will ultimately come when he returns and he reigns over all. That time, however, is not now.

And so he reiterates his earlier warning, that people from your own family may turn against you for following Christ.

Sadly, I’ve seen this happen in Japan more than once. I knew of a girl whose father threatened to disown her and kick her out of the house if she continued with her Christian faith.

Following Christ can lead to discord in a family. The question is, how will we respond?

Do we hide our faith, though continuing to believe? I’ve known people who have done just that…and got into big trouble when they were found out.

But more than that, Jesus said,

Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.

But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven. (Matthew 10:32-33)

Can you really say that you love and follow Christ if you deny him before the very people that you love?

Can you deny him throughout your life, and still call yourself a Christian?

I’m not saying there may not be moments of weakness. Peter certainly had them. He denied knowing Jesus three times. But in the end, he went to the cross for his faith in Jesus.

Jesus then said,

Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:37-39)

In other words, Jesus needs to be more important to you than family, and you need to put him first, no matter what suffering you may go through.

Because if you try to hold on to your family at the expense of Christ, if you compromise your faith to keep family peace, you’ll eventually lose them all in hell.

But if you are willing to lose them, if you’re willing to break up family peace because of your faith in Christ, who knows if your family and those you love won’t turn around and come to follow Christ?

The words I’m saying are not easy. But know that even if you lose your all your blood relatives, you have another family to help you.

People that will love you. People that will support you. People that will help you through the hard times.

That’s what the church is all about. Not a building. But a family.

So let us not compromise our faith for the sake of “peace,” even among family. Rather let us always put Jesus first. Only in doing so will we ever find true peace.

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Ezekiel

Saving ourselves, saving others

Ezekiel

When I was younger, I remember reading a book that said that if we became Christians, it meant that God guaranteed that our families would be saved too.

The author quoted Acts 16:31, where Paul said,

Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.

So the book encouraged us to pray for our families’ salvation.

While I agree with the need to pray for our families’ salvation, I disagree with the interpretation of the scripture.

I believe what Paul meant was, “If you and your family will put your faith in Christ you all will be saved.”

In other words, if the jailer whom Paul was talking to put his faith in Christ, he would be saved. And if his family put their faith in Christ, they would be saved too.

It’s very important as we interpret scripture to not just look at one verse before reaching a conclusion, but to look at what the Bible says on the topic as a whole.

If we look at Paul’s further teachings, he told the Corinthians, “If your unsaved husband or wife decides they want to leave you, let them leave.” Why? Because,

How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Corinthians 7:16)

This was of course a rhetorical question, the answer to which was, “You don’t know if your spouse will ever get saved, so let them go.”

This flies straight in the face of the interpretation of Acts 16:31 which says that if you get saved, it automatically means that your whole family will be saved.

This passage in Ezekiel also contradicts this teaching. Here, God proclaims judgment on Israel saying,

Son of man, if a country sins against me by being unfaithful and I stretch out my hand against it to cut off its food supply and send famine upon it and kill its men and their animals, even if these three men—Noah, Daniel and Job—were in it, they could save only themselves by their righteousness, declares the Sovereign Lord. (Ezekiel 14:13–14)

And again,

Even if these three men were in it, they could not save their own sons or daughters. They alone would be saved. (Ezekiel 14:18)

Several times in this passage, God repeats the same thing. A person cannot save others by their own righteousness, only themselves.

Of course, our righteousness is a righteousness that comes through faith in Christ. As Paul says,

The righteous will live by faith. (Romans 1:17)

That was true in the Old Testament days, the New Testament days, and even in our days.

What then am I trying to say?

Ultimately, people need to make their own choices, whether to follow God or not.

We cannot coerce people into following God. They need to choose to do so on their own.

What is our responsibility then? To pray for them, certainly. But also to make sure that we tell them the way of salvation.

That’s all we can do. The rest is up to them and God.

None of us want to think of our family or our friends going to hell. But it’s not up to us. They’ve got to make their own choices.

So with this in mind, here’s the question you need to ask yourself: “Am I doing all I can to make sure that they have the opportunity to follow Christ?”