Tag: friends

Categories
Proverbs Devotionals

In times of trials

As I looked at today’s passage, two verses struck me.

A crucible for silver, and a smelter for gold,
and the Lord is the tester of hearts. (Proverbs 17:3)

Throughout scripture, it’s clear that God allows his people to go through trials. And one reason is to test their hearts.

But why would he need to do that? Doesn’t he know our hearts already?

Of course he does. But often times we don’t. And through our trials, all our faults and weaknesses rise to the surface.

On the other hand, sometimes through our trials, we come to realize that we are stronger than we had thought.

Either way, God’s purpose isn’t to destroy us, it is to make us more like Jesus.

But there is another important thing to remember: we don’t have to go through our trials alone.

Solomon wrote,

A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a difficult time. (17)

God’s desire is that as we go through our trials, we support one another.

So when you’re struggling, don’t feel ashamed to reach out to others for help. And when you see others struggling, be quick to reach out to help them.

More importantly though, remember that Jesus is a friend that loves us at all times. And he will be there for us in our most difficult times.

I think of the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3. When they were literally going through the fire, they were there to support each other. And Jesus himself walked through the fire with them.

The result? They all came forth as gold.

And so will we.

Categories
Proverbs

Wounds from a friend

I remember a time in my life when I was still walking with the Lord, and I was still going to church, but I had started to neglect fellowship in a small group.

My small group had broken up amicably for various reasons, and with me considering leaving for Japan soon, I decided not to join another one. 

Time passed, however, and the doors to Japan (for a time) closed.  Even so, I still didn’t get back into fellowship with a small group.

Eventually, the Lord spoke to my heart, and said, “Isn’t it about time you got back into fellowship?”  And so I did.

Later on, I was talking with one of my former small group members and told her I had joined another small group.  She told me, “I’m really glad to hear that.  I was a little worried about you.”

I said, “Really?  Then why didn’t you say anything?”

She answered, “I figured you must be okay.”

I suppose one of the downsides to being a “mature” Christian is that people tend to assume you’re okay even when you’re not. 

And I told my friend, “The next time you’re worried about me, say something.  I may or may not listen at first, but if it’s from God, he will get my attention.”

As I told my friend, I can be hardheaded at times.  I don’t always listen at first.  But time and again, God has used my friends to get my attention.

Sometimes though, that isn’t pleasant.  Our friends point out something in our lives that isn’t right and we become defensive.  We get hurt.  And we think, “How could they say that?”

But Solomon writes,

Better is open rebuke than hidden love.  Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.  (Proverbs 27:5-6)

In other words, if your friends truly care about you, they will confront you if you’re wrong. 

People who don’t really care, on the other hand, will just be content to leave you as you are.

It is so important who have friends who will be honest with you.  Who when you are in trouble, won’t just say things to encourage you, but will give you godly advice as well.

As Solomon said,

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel. 

Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother’s house when disaster strikes you– better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.  (9-10)

But this cuts both ways.  Just as friends can help us grow as people, we are to help them grow through our words and our actions.

Solomon tells us,

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.  (17)

The question is, do you have those kinds of friends? 

Do you have friendships where you mutually sharpen one another?  Where you can say the difficult things to each other? 

Or do you have “friends” who only tell you what you want to hear?

What kind of friends do you have?

Categories
Proverbs

Where we get our counsel

Way back when I was in high school, I heard a song called, “Who to listen to.”  And it said,

You’ve got to know who to, who not to listen to.
They’re gonna hit you from all sides,
Gotta make up your mind who to,
Who not to listen to. — Amy Grant

That’s essentially what Solomon is saying here in this passage.

He starts by saying who we should listen to.

Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.  (Proverbs 1:8-9)

Inasmuch as our parents teach us what’s in accord with God’s word, we would be wise to listen to them.  Their experiences in life outstrip our own, and they can give us insight that we can lack at times.

I can look back on the things my father taught me, the need for friends, and the need for integrity in my life in particular, and I’m very grateful for the instruction that he gave me.

They weren’t really long lectures either.  Neither conversation lasted more than 10 minutes, although I have to say the one on integrity was pretty painful as it came when my dad had caught me in a lie.

But the things I learned from him helped me grow into the man I am today.  I’m so grateful to and for him.

Solomon goes on to say, however,

My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them.  (10)

Solomon speaks here specifically of those who would entice you to join them in attacking and stealing from others, and how it will all fall upon your own head if you join in with them.

But the principal holds for any other sins people might try to entice you into.

I had a friend who was invited to go to on a trip specifically for the purpose of engaging prostitutes.  He was wise enough to turn them down.

Others are not so wise, and they end up with AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases.

Sometimes people are even hoping for your best, but give you advice contrary to the Word of God.  Sometimes, for example, they encourage you to sleep with your girlfriend, or to even move in with her, when God clearly says not to.

The result?  Unwanted pregnancies, abortions, and a lot of hurt and pain.

Who are you listening to?  Where are you getting your advice from?

Wherever you get it from, always compare what the people around you are saying with what God is saying.

Where it agrees, follow it.  Where it disagrees, follow the standards God has laid down.

Not only will you avoid trouble by doing so, but you’ll find true joy as well.