At that time Judah left his brothers and settled near an Adullamite named Hirah. (Genesis 38:1)
I have read that verse hundreds of times, but today, for the first time, I asked myself a question: “Why?”
Why did Judah leave his family? Why did he leave his responsibilities?
It can be argued that with his three older brothers Reuben, Simeon, and Levi fallen into disfavor with their father Jacob (Genesis 49:3-7), Jacob was counting on Judah to lead the family after he died.
But Judah left. Why?
I don’t know, but I’m guessing that his conscience was deeply bothering him for what he had done to Joseph. And perhaps seeing his mourning father every day was more than Judah could bear. (Genesis 37:26-28, 34-35)
And so he left.
He tried to start a new life.
But he couldn’t escape himself. He couldn’t escape his sinful heart.
And as he faced himself at the end of chapter 38, Judah didn’t like what he saw.
Not only was Joseph whom he had betrayed more righteous than he was, this Canaanite girl Tamar who didn’t even know God was more righteous than he was.
And perhaps at that point, he looked in the mirror and said, “Something has to change. I can’t keep living like this. I have to stop running.”
His first step? Taking responsibility for Tamar and their two sons.
And then somewhere along the line, it seems he returned home a different person.
You see that in his actions in chapters 43-44.
The change probably didn’t happen overnight. But it started with that single step, and he took it. And as God led him, day by day Judah kept taking those steps forward.
In doing so, he found healing in his broken life.
Joseph forgave him. (Genesis 45)
His father forgave him. (Genesis 49:8-12)
And of course, God forgave him.
What do you see in the mirror? Do you like what you see?
Change…and healing starts with a single step. What is God asking you to do?
