Tag: respect

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1 Peter

Living as servants of God

1 Peter

I mentioned in an earlier blog that sometimes Christians live as if God were an upgrade to their lives.

The result of this is that they pretty much continue to live as they did before but they add on a few things. They add on church. They add on Bible reading and prayer. And perhaps they get rid of a few “bad habits.”

But other than that, they live the rest of their lives pretty much as they want to live it.

But God is not interested in being an upgrade in our lives. He’s interested in being our Lord. And he’s not interested in making us “better.” He’s interested in making us new creations, people who are the very likeness of his Son, and who represent him to the world.

And so Peter says,

Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. (1 Peter 2:12)

Those words are very reminiscent of Jesus’ own words when he said,

Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:16)

As Christ’s servants, we are his representatives to the world around us. We don’t merely represent ourselves anymore. We represent him. As a result, God cares very much about how we act, because what we do reflects on him.

One of the chief ways we represent him is how we relate to authority in our lives. Do we have proper respect for the authorities that God has put in place, particularly government officials? According to Peter, we must (2:13-14). Why?

For it is God’s will that by doing good that you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. (15)

When we disrespect our government, thus showing a lack of respect for authority, it reflects poorly on us and the God we say we represent. Even worse, we do so in a very public manner.

Paul was mindful of this even when he was on trial and unlawfully struck at the order of the high priest. (Acts 23:2-5)

But Peter’s key point is found in verse 16.

Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. (16)

In short, yes, you have been set free from the rules and regulations of religion. But your freedom should never be an excuse for sin and for living however you want to. Why not?

Because we are not our own. We were bought with a price. (I Corinthians 6:19-20). And now we are servants of God himself. So let us live that way.

How does that look? Peter tells us.

Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king. (17)

How about you? What kind of representative of God are you? When others see you, do they see him? Or do they see only you?

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1 Thessalonians

That we may win respect

1 Thessalonians

Hypocrisy.

If there is a word that people like to throw at Christians, it’s hypocrisy.

And too often, it’s all too fitting.

Unfortunately, it was also true in the time of Paul. By the way some Christians were living, they were bringing Christ into disrepute. And so Paul dealt with that in writing to the Thessalonians.

In chapter 4, he’s talking about how we should walk in a manner that pleases God.

Yesterday, we talked about being a clean temple for God.

In the first century, as is true today, sexual morals were extremely loose, and so Paul exhorted the Thessalonians to be sexually pure, and not defile their bodies which are the temple of God.

When we live impure lives, we blend into society rather than standing out from it. And as God’s temple among unbelievers, we are called to stand out.

Paul then shows the Thessalonians another positive way to stand out from society. He told them,

Now about brotherly love we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. And in fact, you do love all the brothers throughout Macedonia.

Yet we urge you, brothers, to do so more and more. (1 Thessalonians 4:9-10)

The world knows all about lust. They know much less about what true love really is, and most spend much of their lives trying to find it as a result. But Jesus said,

By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. (John 13:35)

When we as Christ’s church love each other, it attracts them.

When the the world sees Christians couples who still love each other even after years of marriage it attracts them.

When the world sees such diverse people in one church caring for each other despite their differences, it attracts them.

When the world sees the church reaching out to touch the lives of those who are hurting, it attracts them.

Why? Because they see something we have that they don’t.

And so Paul tells the Thessalonians, “You do love each other. But do so more and more. Let your light shine ever brighter through the love that you have.”

But there was another problem that the Thessalonians had. A number of them were lazy. Perhaps they thought the Lord was coming soon, so they thought, “Why work?” And they were just leeching off of other Christians.

In doing so, however, they brought disrepute to the name of Christ.

And so Paul says,

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. (11-12)

We cannot live as leeches and shine the light of Christ. Nobody likes a leech.

Further, we’ll see in 2 Thessalonians that not only were people leeching off others, they were being busybodies. And people were looking at them, and saying, “Is this what a Christian is?”

And so Paul admonishes them, “Work. Don’t be dependent on anyone. For in doing so, you’ll win the respect of those unbelievers around you.”

How about you? When others see you, what do they see? Do they see a person filled with the love of Christ? Do they see people who are diligent in all they do?

Do you stand out in this world for the right reasons?

Categories
Ephesians

Unity in marriage (part 2)

Happy couple

The very interesting thing we find in this passage is that marriage is meant to be a picture of our relationship with Christ. In what way?

Paul says,

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church– for we are members of his body.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:25-32)

What did Christ do for the church? He left his home in heaven to join himself with us. More, he gave himself for us, dying on the cross.

And to this day, he cares for us, taking care of our physical and spiritual needs, and nurturing us with his love.

Why? Because he loves us as if we were part of himself. And in fact, in Jesus’ eyes, we are part of himself.

And that’s what a husband is supposed to do. He leaves his home and his parents behind to unite himself with his wife.

He gives himself up for her, laying down his life for her, caring for her, providing for her both physically and spiritually, and nurturing her with his love.

Why? Because he loves her as if she were a part of himself. In fact, in God’s eyes, she is a part of her husband.

The husband is in many ways to be a picture of Christ to his wife. The wife, in turn, honors her husband and follows his leadership, just as she honors Christ and follows his leadership.

For us husbands then, one question we need to ask ourselves is how much are we reflecting Christ to our wives? Do we treat our wives as if they were truly part of us? Or do we treat them as something less?

Christ certainly doesn’t treat the church as something less. How then can we treat our wives as something less?

And for you wives, one question you need to ask yourselves is, “How much am I submitting to Christ?”

Because if you have trouble submitting to Christ, you will have even greater trouble submitting to your husbands.

Paul thus concludes,

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)

How about your marriage? How much is it a reflection of the relationship Christ has with his church?

Categories
Song of Solomon

Song of Solomon: A love song

Song of Solomon

And so we hit the final book of the Old Testament.  It’s very interesting to me that I ended Proverbs with two posts, “To be a man,” and “To be a woman.”

For in this book, we find what it means to be a couple as God designed us, as God intended.

It was a song written by Solomon talking about the courtship of his wife, their wedding, and their marriage relationship.

(Which wife this is referring to, I don’t know.  I’d like to think it was his first, and this was written while he was still monogamous).

The interesting thing is that this book is written primarily from the perspective of his wife.

There seems to be some time jumps in the first few chapters, and from all appearances, we are starting at the wedding.  From the bride’s very first words, we see her passion for Solomon.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth– for your love is more delightful than wine.  (Song of Solomon 1:2)

God created us as sexual beings.  And the physical relationship between man and woman was something he created to be good and pleasurable.

We are supposed to take delight in the kisses of our spouse.  We are supposed to take delight in each other.

But it’s also important to note that his physique was not the only thing that attracted her to him.  She says,

Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out.  No wonder the maidens love you!  (1:3)

Here she compares his smell with his name.

In other words, he had a sweet-smelling reputation.  He was a man of integrity and honor, and because of that, many were the women that longed for him.

This is something for men to remember in pursuing a wife.

It isn’t enough to work on your physique; you need to work on your character as well.  This matters if she is ever to respect you.  Are you a person worthy of her respect?

In verse 5, we see how she views herself.  She sees herself in healthy way.  She views herself as lovely, as one who is attractive.

Still, she probably suffered the wounds of those who criticized her appearance.

In those days, having fair skin was considered a good thing, but because she was forced to work in the fields as she was growing up, her skin had become darkened by the sun.

(When it says she neglected her own “vineyard,” it’s referring to her body.  Think of it this way:  her body produces “fruits” for her lover to enjoy, as we’ll see in later chapters).

Unfortunately, too many women nowadays don’t see themselves as attractive.  They see all the actresses on TV and get depressed that they can’t compete.

But God created you as you are.  And he created you beautiful.

This woman also came into this relationship with emotional baggage, as her brothers had rejected her and were hard on her.

One wonders about how much support, if any, she got from her parents considering how her brothers abused her.

But in this passage, we see the healing a loving relationship can bring.

Time and again, Solomon affirms his love for her.  That in his eyes, she is beautiful.  (1:9-10)

When she claims in chapter 2, verse 1 that she is simply ordinary in her beauty (a rose of Sharon, and lily of the valley were common ordinary wildflowers), he affirms,

Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens.  (2:2)

In other words, “You may feel like a common lily, but all other women are like thorns to me.”

And because of this love he has for her, she responds with unbridled love of her own.  (1:4, 16)

That’s how love in marriage should be.  It should a love where the couple delights in each other, respects each other, and helps to bring God’s healing to each other.

May you know that kind of love in your marriage as well.

Categories
Esther

Honoring your wife

Xerxes waiting for Vashti

We are now hitting the book of Esther.

I must admit it took me by surprise that assuming, as many people do, that the Xerxes mentioned in Esther is Xerxes I, that these events happened during the time of Ezra.

Somehow, I always thought it happened well after Ezra and Nehemiah.

I will say here, however, that there is some disagreement on whether it was Xerxes I or not.  Some believe he was Artaxerxes I and some believe he is Artaxerxes II.

For the purposes of this blog, I’ll go with the traditional view that it was Xerxes I.

In this passage, we see the background to Esther’s rise as queen.

Xerxes was holding a great banquet for all of his nobles and officials.  It seems that during this feast, he was attempting to impress all of these people with his wealth and power.

But in doing so, he chose to call his queen to the banquet in order to basically parade her beauty in front of them all.  But to his humiliation, she refused to come.

When he asked his advisors to advise him on what to do, they said,

Queen Vashti has done wrong, not only against the king but also against all the nobles and the peoples of all the provinces of King Xerxes.

For the queen’s conduct will become known to all the women, and so they will despise their husbands and say, ‘King Xerxes commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him, but she would not come.’

This very day the Persian and Median women of the nobility who have heard about the queen’s conduct will respond to all the king’s nobles in the same way.  There will be no end of disrespect and discord. (Esther 1:16-18)

They then counseled him to permanently banish her from his presence in order that,

 all the women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest. (20)

Xerxes agreed, issuing the proclamation while adding that,

 “Every man should be ruler over his own household.” (22)

What do we get from all this?

So many husbands are like Xerxes, who treat their wives not as people, but as things.  Despite this, they demand respect from their wives, some even quoting scripture while doing so.

But while God does indeed command that wives respect their husbands, it would be much better for husbands to worry about how they’re treating their wives than how their wives are treating them.

If husbands were the kind of leaders that Jesus was, and as God has commanded us to be (Ephesians 5:25-28), do you think they would have much of a problem getting respect from their wives?

If you treat your wife not as an object, but as a person that you value highly, if you sacrifice your own needs to meet hers, if you love her as Christ does, how do you think she’ll respond?

So many people are caught in a downward spiral in their marriages.

The husbands don’t love their wives, so they don’t respect their husbands.

The husbands don’t feel respected, so they show less love.

The wives feel less love, so they show less respect.

And the cycle goes down in an endless spiral all the way to divorce.

May I suggest husbands, if you’re reading this, that as the leader in the household, God calls on you to be the one that stops that spiral downward?

That instead of showing less love because you feel no respect, you should start showing more love?

I would bet that if you start to do so, your wife will start showing you more respect.

It may take time, however, as there are probably years of wounds that have to be healed.

She’ll be wondering, “How long will this last?  Is it just a phase?  I’ve been hurt so often by him.  Can I really trust him?”

Husbands, keep at it.  Win her trust once again.

It’ll probably have to start with setting aside your pride and apologizing to her.

Tell her, “I haven’t been loving you as I should.  Will you forgive me?”

And ask for God’s help in the process.

Wives, if you are reading this, then maybe God is calling you to stop the downward spiral.

It’s not easy.  We men can be pig-headed and hard-hearted.  But pray for us.

And ask God to help you find at least one thing, however small, that you can respect him for.  Then voice that respect to your husband.

You may be amazed at how such a little thing can make such a big difference.