I remember a time in my life when I was still walking with the Lord, and I was still going to church, but I had started to neglect fellowship in a small group.
My small group had broken up amicably for various reasons, and with me considering leaving for Japan soon, I decided not to join another one.
Time passed, however, and the doors to Japan (for a time) closed. Even so, I still didn’t get back into fellowship with a small group.
Eventually, the Lord spoke to my heart, and said, “Isn’t it about time you got back into fellowship?” And so I did.
Later on, I was talking with one of my former small group members and told her I had joined another small group. She told me, “I’m really glad to hear that. I was a little worried about you.”
I said, “Really? Then why didn’t you say anything?”
She answered, “I figured you must be okay.”
I suppose one of the downsides to being a “mature” Christian is that people tend to assume you’re okay even when you’re not.
And I told my friend, “The next time you’re worried about me, say something. I may or may not listen at first, but if it’s from God, he will get my attention.”
As I told my friend, I can be hardheaded at times. I don’t always listen at first. But time and again, God has used my friends to get my attention.
Sometimes though, that isn’t pleasant. Our friends point out something in our lives that isn’t right and we become defensive. We get hurt. And we think, “How could they say that?”
But Solomon writes,
Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. (Proverbs 27:5-6)
In other words, if your friends truly care about you, they will confront you if you’re wrong.
People who don’t really care, on the other hand, will just be content to leave you as you are.
It is so important who have friends who will be honest with you. Who when you are in trouble, won’t just say things to encourage you, but will give you godly advice as well.
As Solomon said,
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel.
Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother’s house when disaster strikes you– better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away. (9-10)
But this cuts both ways. Just as friends can help us grow as people, we are to help them grow through our words and our actions.
Solomon tells us,
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (17)
The question is, do you have those kinds of friends?
Do you have friendships where you mutually sharpen one another? Where you can say the difficult things to each other?
Or do you have “friends” who only tell you what you want to hear?
What kind of friends do you have?
Moment to Moment (Bible blog) 