Tag: unequally yoked

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2 Chronicles Devotionals

Unequally yoked

2 Chronicles

The apostle Paul wrote,

Don’t become partners with those who do not believe. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness?

Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?

What agreement does Christ have with Belial?

Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? (2 Corinthians 6:14-15)

While most times, we associate this passage with dating and marriage, this is true about any relationship where an unbeliever has too much influence in our lives.

We see this in the life of Jehoshaphat. He allowed Ahab far too much influence in his life, and it nearly cost him his life.

And while God showed grace to Jehoshaphat by sparing his life, nevertheless, God severely chastised him for his decision.

We, of course, cannot simply cut off all relationships with the people of this world.

Nevertheless, we need to be wise about who we build relationships with.

The biggest question is, are they influencing us, or are we influencing them?

If they are influencing us and causing us to make bad decisions as Ahab did with Jehoshaphat, we are unequally yoked, and we need to “unyoke” ourselves from them.

So let us heed the words of Paul.

Therefore, come out from among them
and be separate, says the Lord;
do not touch any unclean thing,
and I will welcome you.

And I will be a Father to you,
and you will be sons and daughters to me,
says the Lord Almighty. (2 Corinthians 6:17-18)

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2 Corinthians

Unequally yoked (part 3)

2 Corinthians

I don’t think I can leave this passage without touching on an application that people often use when quoting this passage: dating and/or marrying a non-Christian.

Some people say that this passage means we should not date non-Christians.

I will say straight out that while I don’t think it’s necessarily sin, I think it’s a bad idea and it can lead to sin.

I have seen three situations in the past 5 years or so where it turned out for the good. But I have seen many others where it did not.

As for dating a non-Christian, I think the main question I would ask is this: Who is influencing who?

Are you in every way influencing the other person to draw closer to Christ? Or is little by little, the other person drawing you away from Him?

Are they starting to become attracted to Christ through you? Or are they starting to chip away at your spiritual purity?

Are you finding yourself, for example, skipping church to go out on dates?

Are you finding yourself losing way too much time in the Word or in prayer because of the time you spend with them?

Are you finding that you’re compromising yourself sexually?

If the answer to any of these is yes, I would say it’s time to break off that relationship.

That’s a hard saying, I know. Why is it so hard for a person in that situation to accept it?

The problem is that such relationships quickly become not simply an intellectual issue, but an emotional one.

We were created to bond with people of the opposite sex, not just physically, but emotionally.

And so when you start dating someone, that emotional bonding begins.

“He likes me! I like him!”

“She likes me! I like her!”

Everyone that has ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend knows the thrill of that realization. And it only grows stronger the longer the relationship lasts.

The question then becomes, can you hold on to your convictions in the face of those emotions. And that is very hard to do.

It is a very strong (and rare) Christian indeed who can stand firm on all their convictions in the face of pressure from their non-Christian boyfriend or girlfriend.

And I don’t know a single Christian that wouldn’t go through heartbreak, strong Christian or not, if they were forced to break off the relationship because of their convictions.

To take off on something that Paul once said (although the situation he was referring to was completely different)

But those who [date non-Christians or marry them] will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Is it possible that the other person may become a Christian?

Yes. But it’s just as likely, if not more likely that you will compromise on the One who went to the cross for you. And as I said, I’ve seen that far more often than I’d like.

I think the situation is doubly tough as a Christian woman dating a non-Christian guy.

I believe scripture teaches that the husband is to lead in a relationship. And that should start in the dating/courting stage of a relationship.

But can a Christian woman afford to let the non-Christian lead the relationship in everything?

If she does, she is definitely being unequally yoked. If she doesn’t, however, there will always be something off in the relationship, since that is not how God created us to be.

It goes without saying that any Christian that goes ahead and marries an unbeliever is definitely unequally yoked.

And at that point, I think they are definitely in the area of compromise and sin, because they have disobeyed the very words of God we have just read.

So what am I saying? Be very careful about starting any romantic relationship with an unbeliever. Because emotions get involved at a very early stage, it can become very easy for you to fall into compromise and sin.

How about you? Are you unequally yoked?

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2 Corinthians

Unequally yoked (part 2)

2 Corinthians

We talked yesterday about the importance of not being unequally yoked with people.

The main point I made was that if a person is influencing you in ways that cause you to compromise your purity or compromise your life as a person set apart for God, you need to put a distance between you and them.

Why?

Paul tells us,

For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. (2 Corinthians 6:14-16a)

In short, there is a fundamental difference between unbelievers and us, and it cannot be reconciled. Ultimately it comes down to the fact of who we belong to.

We are the temple of God. God lives in us. They are a temple of idols.

Oh, they may not be worshiping literal idols such as Buddha. But in their hearts, they have displaced God from the throne of their hearts and have put other things there. Their own happiness. Money. Possessions. Or whatever it may be.

And whenever these things come into conflict with what God has taught us are true and right, they thrust God aside and simply live as they please.

How can we possibly yoke ourselves to these people and put ourselves under their influence? They have bought the lie of Satan, “You shall be like God.” (Genesis 3:5)

Satan tells them as he did Eve.

“You don’t need God’s advice. You are wise enough. You don’t need to look to God for happiness. Look at these other things that can bring you happiness. You don’t need to live for God. Just live for yourself.”

And by following the lies of Satan, they effectively live for him and influence all others they touch to do the same.

But we are called by God himself to be his children. To be different. To be holy.

Paul says,

As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”

“Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”

“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6:16b-18)

Paul then concludes,

Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. (2 Corinthians 7:1)

We are called into a wonderful relationship with God. But if we want that kind of relationship, God calls us to purify ourselves from sin. And sometimes that means separating ourselves from those that are pulling us away from him.

How about you? Out of your love and reverence for God, are you living holy lives? Lives that are pure before him? Lives set apart for him?

Or are you letting yourselves be influenced by the unbelievers around you to the point that you just blend in with them?

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2 Corinthians

Unequally yoked (part 1)

2 Corinthians

Holiness.

It’s one of those words that could be called Christianese. I suppose if people were to picture “holy” people, they would imagine people with a literal halo over their heads and shining with the glory of God.

But holiness simply comes down to two things: purity and being set apart for God. And as Christians, that’s what we’re called to be.

We can’t just blend in with this world to the point that they can’t tell the difference between us and them. They need to see a difference in our attitudes and our actions.

But blending in is just what many Christians do. And one reason that happens is that they do not live lives that are set apart for God. Rather, they let themselves be influenced by the people around them.

And so Paul says,

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. (2 Corinthians 6:14)

What does it mean to be yoked with an unbeliever? The picture comes from the Old Testament where God commands the people not to yoke a donkey with an ox. (Deuteronomy 22:10).

And that comes right smack dab in the middle of two other laws that condemned the mixing of things that were different: the sowing of two different kinds of seeds in a vineyard, and the mixing of wool and linen to make clothes.

Why did God give these laws? Primarily to make a point about purity. They were pictures that the Jews were to be a pure people.

Why did Paul bring this up in 2 Corinthians as an illustration rather than the mixing of seeds or fabrics?

Probably because he could see further application beyond purity.

When a donkey and ox were yoked together, the donkey had a significant influence on the ox.

The ox might want to go forward, but if the donkey were stubborn and refused to move, the ox would find it difficult if not impossible to move forward.

Or if the donkey tried to move in a different direction, the ox would have to make one of two choices: either follow the lead of the donkey, or again try to force the donkey to follow its lead.

I think the picture Paul is giving here is to not so tie ourselves to unbelievers that they can influence us.

That can be true in any relationship. More than one Christian businessman has found himself in trouble because he partnered with an unbeliever who proved to be less than honest in his dealings.

We can also be influenced by the friends that we look to for our advice.

Now some of the advice unbelievers give can be good. But at other times, they will give us advice that goes contrary to scripture, but sounds good to them and us.

“Go ahead. Move in with your girlfriend. You love her, right?”

“Hey, sometimes to get ahead in life, you have to bend the rules a little.”

And if we are tied to them to the point that they can influence us, they can lead us into sin, well-meaning though they may be.

But this should not be. We are to be the influencers not the influenced.

Am I saying that we should cut ourselves off from all non-Christians then?

Of course not. But for every relationship we are in, we need to ask, “Are they having too much of an influence in my life?

Are they causing me to compromise my purity as a Christian? Are they causing me to compromise my life as one called to be set apart for God?”

If they are, then we need to start putting some distance between them and us to the point that they can no longer do so.

This is getting long, so we’ll talk more on this next time.